In The Evening
by shescardinal
Summary: Bella meets vampire Edward as a grown woman with her own thoughts and plans for life... which become slightly derailed as a murderer hits Seattle and makes life more complicated for this star-crossed couple.
1. Chapter 1

Somewhere only a few miles from a coffee shop called Lucy's, a few drops of blood were carried down into the sewer drain. The evidence was washed away in the Seattle gray. A young woman dropped a handful of love letters, the ink smearing on the pavement. The light had already left her eyes as she slumped against the dingy wall. Staring at the sky, a handsome man turned on his heel and walked into the rain, leaving the first of many victims.

-

The clock struck seven, the sun hidden behind the usual shroud of clouds. Just another day in the Pacific Northwest, the girl thought as she clunked down the stairs to the city street. Her studio apartment had already been filled with the scent of espresso, making it impossible to avoid. The familiar sign, the familiar smell, and the familiar faces inside welcomed her into Lucy's, and she lifted her head to smile at her best friend behind the counter.

"Good morning, Ang. You know I can't resist the pumpkin spice blend. I could smell it in the rafters."

"Well, you know I aim to please... Big cup morning or small cup morning?" Angela looked up from thick rimmed glasses, plaid shirt with a smudge of coffee grounds on the collar. She was the one person that, day in and day out, could be counted on for a smile and a lift.

Bella paused a bit, thinking about her meager budget. "Uh, big cup, please. Just a few days until midterms. I think my students are going to drive me crazy with their complaints about papers. I'm going to need to stay caffeinated." Her face contorted, feeling the weight of the undergraduates she would have to coerce into making their papers decent.

"I'll make it a super big cup,chica. You're gonna need it." Angela winked, the steaming coffee poured into Bella's travel thermos and handed back. Three sugars, one cream.

"You and Ben have plans tonight? Or can I make you come over for dinner? I'm craving fish tacos." Angela and Ben had been together for years, since Bella had moved to Washington in high school. The couple lived a few blocks away in a small condo, as Angela was a free lance graphic designer and Ben worked in software of some kind. They were so hip to most things it made Bella's head spin.

"Yeah, sorry. His friend's band is playing at this little dive bar. I'd invite you, but it's going to be so bad. They are reggae indie rock... So bad. I'm just going because Ben threatened me. Tomorrow can we do lunch?" She swept her bangs from her face, straightening her tall frame as another customer came in and sat down to be served.

"Sure, that's fine... I guess I'll get going, I've got a class and then teaching all afternoon. Remind me again why I decided a PhD was a super idea?"

Angela shook her head at Bella, who tipped a few quarters and waved on her way out. "You love it!"

These words made Bella grin and blush a little. Truth be told, she did love it. She loved teaching people about the classics and modern British literature. It was rather tragic that most students butchered the English language in the course of the semester and failed to appreciate authors whose books had not made it to the silver screen. Bella pulled her scarf a little tighter, wishing the damp cold away. Her coat already had beads of drizzle pooling at the shoulders, and she thanked herself for the practical Wellingtons she wore nearly every day. Sensible shoes for the commute in to school, cute shoes stayed in the office she shared with a fellow English PhD candidate.

She ducked her face against the elements, navigating the streets between her apartment and the University of Washington's campus. The October weather was mild, but held the promise of another long wet winter. How had she decided to stay at UW and not migrated to somewhere warmer and sunnier? Alas, the anglophile in Bella knew that she suffered for the imagination, for her father Charlie, and for the love of her friends. At 25, she felt roots too thick to neglect here.

Bella slid into the building, removing her drenched coat and moving to the third floor. She shook out her long hair, angry that it had to build up frizz on the trip here. She sighed and twisted it into a high bun. Not that her appearance mattered, but Bella felt better getting up and lecturing for hours if she, well, didn't look like she crawled out of the gutter. Her students were usually sporting that look, so it made her feel like she belonged.

"Hey Lola," Bella sighed as she opened her office door. Lola was another PhD candidate, though she spent every last moment on the phone with her fiance and mother. Wedding planning for March seemed to consume her, since she was planning on defending her thesis in May and was well prepared for everything. Lola smiled at her from the phone, rolling her eyes and mouthing "mother in law." Her brilliant red hair was all Bella could see from her own cramped desk.

After 30 minutes of emails consisting of questions about the midterm, the midterm papers, and general whining, Bella cracked her neck and looked up from her laptop. The department couldn't afford computers for everyone, or an office with windows for everyone either. Lola was bent over a paper, red pen in hand.

"You know Lola, your kids are going to get complexes with all that ink." Bella smiled at her friend, who laughed back and tossed her hair over her shoulder.

"Red ink matches the hair, girl! God, I need a cigarette. I know, I said I was quitting, but this mother in law stress is totally breaking my will. Come outside with me please?" She grabbed a menthol from her purse, and Bella reluctantly rose.

"Only if I stand upwind. I swear, why even bother with the Menthols? You know you aren't doing yourself any favors."

"I know, God, I know." The duo made their way to the stairwell, where Lola sucked on the cancer stick and Bella made ludicrous faces as she did. They chatted about their students, who were checking out mentally with autumn break mere moments away.

"I love teaching, but those little bastards are just pissing me off. I can't wait to teach a real English class, and not freaking Write Bullshit 101." Lola's foul mouth and crazy attitude made her such fun to shoot the breeze with, even tainted with menthol cigarettes.

"Give me freshman over pompous grad students like us any day!"

Bella finished her last few emails and read the New York Times, bumbling through her Friday morning. She had a quick seminar, made quicker by her major professor who lived for the weekend and was off to fish for something. Save that boisterous discussion for next Tuesday, anyway. Bella and Lola ate together in quiet contentment, until Lola's phone rang and her discussion with her fiance at the naval base took her out of the office for privacy.

"Uh, Miss Swan?" Bella looked up from her tomato soup and veggie wrap to see Kristen DeVore, one of her freshman 101 students. Kristen was surprising, all legs and blonde but who managed to infuse real depth into their class sessions and papers.

"Hey Kristen, come on in. Uhhh, pull up that chair and have a seat." Bella wiped her mouth, swallowing some water.

"I wanted to ask a few questions about the midterm, if that's cool... I just want to be extra prepared. English is sort of my favorite class. I was actually thinking of declaring an English concentration, but my dad thinks I should do accounting instead."

Bella shook her head, but gave her the essentials for the exam and the paper, which required a little outside research and synthesis of a historical document to modern day necessity.

"I'm only sorry your father is dissuading you from your real passion, Kristen. I definitely think that your best bet is take classes in all your core subjects and let your heart tell you what you want. My dad wanted me to be a nurse and come work back at home, and my mom wanted me to be a photojournalist and travel the world. I am not really living the dream here, but I would say I am pretty damn happy."

Kristen smiled up at Bella, but shrugged as she gathered her things. "Well, my boyfriend is set on finance, and so I know he could take care of me, but I think they all think English is frilly and unimportant."

"Well, it's important to me," Bella scowled, "and you should know that no man can always be relied on. Even if you get married and live happily ever after, you'll always feel unfulfilled without pulling your own weight. So, you know, make yourself happy first... then the rest will follow."

"Thanks, Ms. Swan. See you in class."

Bella watched the beautiful girl walk out her door, thoughtful. Were women really raised this way, to think that men hung the moon and they were merely in the orbit? Thank God Renee had done something right... Even if she did end up following Phil around the country, she was still her own person. Charlie expected more. Hell, Bella expected more from herself than bare feet and babies. If that was your dream, fine. But some people need more.

After two long classes, Bella came back to the office to grab all her gear. Friday, sweet Friday. She was staring down the barrel of her last weekend before midterms, with her own research and writing to be done. Even with a full load on her shoulders, Bella enjoyed writing short stories and sending them out... even for rejection letters. Charlie told her that rejection built character. She was certainly stacking up that character on her kitchen counter at home.

"Hey Bells, did you catch the news?" Lola's delicate freckles stood out starkly on her face, eyes concerned. Lola and Bella peered at the small blurb in the Seattle Times about a woman's brutal murder that morning sometime around six am. No leads, no trace evidence.

"God, poor thing. Good thing I am a force to be reckoned with when it comes to me and my mace." Bella smiled wryly, thankful her dad and best friend Jacob were both police officers who instilled in her a healthy sense of fear.

"Any big plans this weekend?"

"Nothing too major, some work, lunch with Angela tomorrow, and I'll probably head out to Bob's Sunday to gallop a few and get some horse time in. How about you?"

"God, you and your horse racing, you big freak. I'm just saddled with wedding nonsense, you go on and live your crazy life. See ya Monday!"

Bella and Lola said their goodbyes, Bella changing out of her green suede boots to her Wellies once more. She waved at the redhead, and hit the streets of Seattle, glad for the weekend and glad for her life and its wide open possibilities.


	2. Chapter 2

The alarm jarred Bella from a world of silence, deep and vast and unknown. Her pale arm scooted from beneath the worn quilt, hitting the snooze and rolling over in one fell swoop. The clock read 5:20, and she had 5 minutes to acclimate to the world sleeping from beyond her window. Sunday morning was here, and she had horses to see. A fuzzy form at the foot of her bed blinked at her, angry at the interruption in her precious sleep.

"Sorry Austen, sorry." The orange tabby snuggled deeper into the sheets, hiding the white smudge on her nose from Bella and the bedside table lamp. Bella groaned and pulled herself from the dreamy sleep world and into the one of her kitchen complete with cold linoleum and tired coffee pot. Too bad there would be no Lucy's this early.

Soon enough, she was taking the steps from her studio two at a time, jeans fitted and thermal underwear fitted beneath a royal blue fleece vest. Her hair was plaited down her back, swinging between her shoulder blades as she walked the few blocks to her truck. The old rusted pickup was driven once a week, and Bella prayed it would last forever. After all, it had lasted for many decades already. It was a 20 mile commute to a small farm near Emerald Downs, the thoroughbred racetrack that attracted small crowds outside Seattle.

Her junior year of college, Bella had won a small scholarship to go to London for three weeks that summer. She visited all the famous landmarks, all the museums, and took in the tourist London she had dreamt of her whole life. While there, she stayed with a local family whose daughter was just her age and was home on holiday. Gemma was Bella's polar opposite – social butterfly, outgoing, and raucous to the core. She was a blast! The Worth family owned a small plot of land far outside the city, and Gemma insisted on Sunday trips out to the farm. This is where Bella caught the horse bug.

As a child, she had never really fantasized the way many in her class did about horses. They seemed scary, heavy, and far too dangerous. But while in high school, she caught the adrenaline bug and loved doing things that were, well, scary. Horses were just the ticket. Gemma taught Bella to ride over those few weeks, and offered her a place to stay when she graduated school. Bella only had the money to stay for three months after finishing her degree, but in that time, she became proficient enough to gallop some older horses and had a blast. She also learned and wrote for the local papers, and longed for a different life – one where she could travel and do whatever she wanted.

Seeing as that was pretty much the longest shot ever, Bella was happy to ride once a week at a local farm. Bob Hart was an aging horse trainer whose horses were fat, healthy, and sadly too slow on the track. His wife knew little about horses, but was warm and friendly. Bella had made a trip to the track shortly after coming home from England, and met Pam Hart in the restroom of the track grandstand. She had offered Bella the chance to come to their farm, and ever since, it was a weekly routine to drive her old truck out to the farm to gallop on Sundays. This gave the older horses a guaranteed chance at getting out on the track during the season when they usually would be sitting still. And besides, it was serious fun.

"Hey Bob," Bella quietly called out into the softly lit barn. The sun wouldn't be up for another half hour, so she settled in to brush the horses and prepare them for a small workout. Bob grunted from across the aisle, preferring to work in silence and simplicity. It made for great therapy.

Three hours later, Bella was mounting up on her last horse of the morning, Cappy, an elder statesman. He was 10, getting up there in age and usefulness for a racehorse but was Bella's particular favorite. He had a charm, a spunk, and a genuine love of running that made him really a favorite ride. Bella wasn't a particularly stellar rider, but it was such fun and Bob had pretty well trained horses. They just needed a partner in crime. Her heart pounded with the thrill of those first few strides of a horse in motion... it was poetry that words couldn't capture. Not even the words of a verbose English graduate student.

"Hey Pam, how's it going?" Bella walked out of the barn after cooling Cappy down from his workout, smiling broadly at the older woman coming down the lane from their home.

"Oh, well, fine dear, I'm just making it through," the woman said with a rueful smile. Bob and Pam did not have it easy, but they were wonderful people who were welcoming and giving in their time and love. Bella joined Pam for a quick cup of tea, chatting quietly. Pam was a middle school teacher, so the two women had a lot of stories to swap. It definitely made Bella appreciative that she chose higher education, even if 19 year olds often acted like hormonal, confused 13 year olds.

"Bella, I do not know how you are living in that city right now. Are you being careful? They haven't found anything about that poor girl's murder yet... probably never will now."

"I can't sit around and be scared, Pam, but I am trying to be cognizant of my surroundings." Bella looked down at her lap. The poor girl had been in the news constantly, a young girl from UW who was active in the theatre department. Seattle was uncomfortable with violence. The clock struck 11 and Bella sighed deeply. She had undoubtedly accrued many desperate emails from her students about the looming exam and life could only be ignored for so long. She thanked Pam for the tea and made the drive back home in silence, thinking of the girl and her life cut too short.

-

Bella's soup sat warmly on her small table in front of a window overlooking the city street. The rain had come in again, thumping rhythmically to a tune she did not know. Bella tore a piece of french bread from a loaf and considered popping a new bottle of wine to make it an occasion rather than a Sunday night dinner. Probably not the best plan, seeing as she had work to do tonight and had agreed to meet any students who might want their papers given a glance at the library in an hour.

She finished her soup and packed her things into a canvas bag, wishing the rain would go away so she could ride her bike to school. Instead, it would be a quick bus trip in the sloshy grey. Her navy tee was soon protected by the required Seattle raincoat, skinny jeans cuffed once above grey Converse sneakers, practical and mildly cute. Bella tucked her long hair into the hood of her coat, grabbing her umbrella and checking twice that she looked presentable enough for public appearances.

The Suzzallo library was the biggest on campus, gothic and gorgeous. She had developed a close love affair with the building as an undergraduate, and Bella was used to taking up residence in the graduate reading room. It felt like a world where she could vanish into literature and never reappear. Alas, she ducked into a study room and waited for her students to come in. They never came. No one brought their papers in to be checked, no one came with ideas. Apparently, they would be well prepared for midterms.

"Yeah, right."

Bella's voice rang out in the quiet room, alone and bright under fluorescent bulbs. She packed up, and made her way to the exit. Pausing at the top of the stairwell, she went up instead. The reading room it was. She had just started rereading Kazuo Ishiguro's The Remains of the Day, not necessarily uplifting but fantastically written anyway.

Bella's long hair was loose around her, shielding her from the world. It was a bad habit she accumulated when she moved to Forks, hiding from the reality of life. The hours on this Sunday were dwindling, and she couldn't put off going home and starting the week tomorrow. Two day week, and then fall break would come with plenty of time for herself. She flipped her hair up and threw a glance at a movement on the side of the room.

The most handsome man Bella had ever seen was standing, grasping the table in front of him. He was staring in her direction. Her breath caught, eyes locking on a pale face with a shock of bronze hair. He looked desperately pained, but a mere moment later, he turned from her with a book in his hand. He placed it on the cart in front of him and moved away. Bella grabbed all her belongings, never moving her eyes from the stranger's back. She was winded, hands shaking, heart pounding.

He peeked at her from under his arm as he left the room and disappeared down the corridor, and Bella had to sit down to regain any logical thought. In the end, only one phrase moved through her mind.

"What the hell just happened?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Author's Note**: Thank you so much for all your reviews! I hope this chapter does not disappoint. Please keep reading and reviewing! :)

Her hands fumbled placing this morning's coffee mug into the sink, spilling old cold coffee along the counter and onto the floor. Bella cursed her clumsiness, mopping it up with a towel. The afternoon light was dim through the window. Midterms were past, papers stacked to grade high on her small kitchen table. She wrapped her light draped sweater around her, walking into her bedroom to pull worn jeans over her slim hips. Somehow, she set deadlines for herself even on breaks. Angela had been over the night before, and the two had a ritual "Grandma Craft Night." They would dress in sweats and eat desserts for dinner, crafting until the wee hours watching chick flicks. Last night, Bella finished an entire scarf for Charlie, thick woolen navy for the wet winter to come. Angela made Bella a long set of dangly pearl earrings for fancier occasions. Bella scoffed, as if she ever had a reason to get really dressed up. She packed her papers into a folder, added a few pens and her book. Grading papers, oh what fun.

She pulled her slouchy grey crocheted boots on, grateful for the trendy birthday present from Renee. With a quick thought to grab her umbrella just in case, Bella hit the street, waved at Angela through the window of Lucy's, and unlocked her bike from the rack. The sun was still hidden by the clouds, though she was so glad that the weather had softened a bit. It was always a bonus not to have the air chap your skin on the way to the library, making it oh so lovely and oh so numb.

Bella hadn't told Angela about the searing look she had gotten from Library Guy, though it obviously warranted Capital Letters in her mind. Why had he looked at her with such contempt? Was he just an angry man? Did she know him from somewhere? Her mind prodded her in a way to remember his face, his stunning face, even if she wished it hadn't been furrowed in hate. He obviously worked at the library, but she hadn't seen him before. She knew it. She would remember a face that shockingly handsome, so memorable.

Her watch read 3:15 as she stepped into the reading room, empty and quiet. Bella picked a seat by the window in a corner, facing the door, so she could see if he came in. Library Guy wouldn't ruin her day with a glance, but that didn't mean she didn't want to be prepared to see him. One more look like that, and Bella was prepared to ask him what the hell is problem was. It was unwarranted. No one could hate Kazuo Ishiguro, Bella Swan, or anyone they had never met for that matter. Well, unless you were an evil dictator or murderer. People hate Stalin with good reason.

Four hours and thirteen papers graded later , Bella stashed her things underneath the table and grabbed her wallet. Luckily, the library kept regular hours over breaks and the coffee shop was open. There were so many mediocre papers; caffeine was required. She hated grading papers in one fell swoop, but her concentration snapped and didn't connect if grading was little by little. The cup of coffee and a big streusel muffin, cold from sitting all day, was about as good as it could get. She shuffled back to the reading room, only to see the man who had somewhat stuck in her brain for the last few days sitting at the table facing hers. His tousled hair shone in the dim light, and the dark green plaid of his shirt seemed to divide the room and mark the space she would have to invade, even just to grab her things and run. He would not ruin her concentration. She did not buy a $3 crappy muffin to get pushed out of her work.

Bella took a deep breath and didn't glance at him once as she moved to her seat and set her coffee and muffin down. Her blush seemed to creep further up her neck, no matter how she tried to fight it. Bella picked up her pen, bright blue ink because it seemed kinder than red, uncapped it, and started to read the next paper. She didn't make it past the first paragraph without forgetting the thesis already. Her hand shook as she added a necessary comma. Fuck this. She looked up and met his intent gaze. Her breath caught, shocked he was just openly staring, and she fought to get the offending breath back when he half smiled.

"Hi."

"Um, hi." Way to go, Bella. Slick as sandpaper, baby. She put the pen down. It had almost left a jagged lightening bolt across the paper.

"Are you having a nice evening?" He smiled truly now, shiny row of straight white teeth. His skin was flawless, warm golden eyes, and was so devastatingly handsome she was a little lightheaded. This was the same man who had given her the death stare this same week. What was going on?

"I am, thank you, just grading some papers for class." Better, at least this was mildly coherent.

"Wonderful. I was watching you a bit ago, and thought I would say hello. I'm Edward." Library Guy. Edward. Okay, easy enough to remember, old fashioned and proper.

"I'm Bella. Why were you watching me? I saw you last week, do you remember? You looked really... angry. Do I know you from somewhere? Did I do something, deface the library with my presence or something?" The verbal diarrhea seemed to pour out of her lips, seemingly out of control, no editing at all.

He seemed a little taken aback, but half smiled again and cocked his head. "Not at all. We've never met, you've never defaced the library of course. You wouldn't dare." He finally took his eyes off of her, and to the stack of books in front of him. He opened the first and a spiral notebook. Bella dropped her head to look at the paper in front of her, but couldn't move her eyes from Edward. His long fingers, smooth pale skin, jaw dropping jaw line. Her focus was shot. Bella reached her arms up, stretching, and pulled her hair back and twisted it in a low knot at the back of her neck. The man in front of her chucked under his breath, shaking his head.

"Is your book funny?" Bella questioned him, still testy after the complete reversal in his behavior. Had she read him so wrong that first day?

"Hardly. I'm afraid I'm in the least funny program UW offers."

"Which is?"

"Public Health. I'm finishing my certificate in Global Health." Bella's eyebrows shot up – that was seriously cool. She had half expected him to say he was an undergraduate in something silly. Planning to move to LA and be an actor. He was that good looking.

"Oh wow, cool. Don't you work here? That's pretty intense. Sort of makes my English degree seem pretty useless and unimportant." She bit the inside of her cheek, an annoying habit she couldn't break when she was nervous. His eyes flicked to her mouth, then down to his work again.

"I disagree, it's just what matters to you – if it's important enough for you to pursue, it's not useless at all." Bella felt her skin flush again, willing it to stop. It only made it worse.

"I'm sorry, Bella, if I am making you uncomfortable. I don't meet a lot of people, since I'm always here at night and in the lab or class during the day. I actually start a shift here in a little less than an hour."

Bella frowned and looked at her cell phone clock. That meant his shift started at nine. How could someone work so late and complete such a rigorous program during the day? How could someone so handsome know so few people, especially to think that she was interesting?

"I highly doubt you would think I am interesting if you actually knew me. Unless, that is, you think that reading an ungodly amount, riding horses, and spending a lot of time in my apartment doing silly things is really cool?"

He looked up at her warmly and her heart thudded against her sternum. "What are you reading currently?"

"The Remains of the Day. I've read it before. I just..." Bella trailed off, embarrassed at herself.

"You just what?"

"Oh God, well, I was going to say that I just miss the characters when I haven't read them in a while. Some of them are like old friends. I guess you never really read the same book twice, because it's always meaning something different to you at a different time. It's sad, really, when characters mean so much to you that you actually miss them around..."

"I find that pretty excellent. I liked that novel myself actually. It's a good reminder to live your life and not be stunted by your own preconceived ideas of your own behavior. And how much life had changed for those from before modern times..." His eyes drifted away, and Bella was a little bit taken aback at his comment. It had been a long time since she had the opportunity to talk with someone who really had such great discourse who wasn't in her PhD program. Bella smiled at him, feeling intrigued and drawn to him in a way she couldn't describe. He was intimidating, gorgeous and fit and smart. And he was talking to her. If only he hadn't left such a bad taste in her mouth at their first meeting, she would really be enamored.

They spent the remainder of Edward's time free from work chatting about the book. His eyes were often on his book and hers on her papers, working but talking with ease. Bella's demeanor slowly relaxed, enjoying the conversation and grateful for something in common to take her mind off of the fluttering in her stomach when their eyes met. Eventually, the clock struck 9 and their time was up.

"Well, Bella, I hope we can speak again soon. I'm hear every night just about, so I guess you know where to find me, if you want to that is." His eyes were downcast, shuffling a bit. It seemed so disconnected, that someone so beautiful could seem so self conscious.

She smiled at him, "I do need to finish these papers. Maybe Sunday I'll see you here again..."

Her heart thudded as he nodded and strode away. He definitely wasn't shuffling now. Her heart rate significantly reduced when he was out of sight, and licked her lips. What was happening to her? How has Edward incorporating himself into her life, even for a night, seemed to make her want to camp out in the reading room and talk to him all night long?

It was definitely a new twist on her life, that was for sure.


	4. Chapter 4

**Author's Note : **Thanks again guys! This chapter amps it up a bit, and hopefully you enjoy!

-

The night was coming when his hopes would become reality. His planning, his preparation, everything would climax in one sweet midnight. He licked his lips at the thought. Putting pen to paper, he wrote the 6th of his love letters that evening. In the evening, he found that words of love and adoration, even if they were anonymous, flowed like blood in an artery. His words were fierce in their unwavering passion. No one could deny him. No one dare to.

-

Bella twisted the key in her lock, falling into her apartment with a groan. Her elbow struck the door frame on her way in, which would surely flower into a bruise. _Perfect. Idiot_. She hung up her purse and keys, locking the deadbolt and flipping the light on. Austen greeted her owner, weaving between her legs in a dance to her food bowl. Bella dropped the cat the usual amount of evening dinner, dropping her jeans and pulling her sweater over her head. It was six, and on Halloween, that meant she was late in her costume preparation. Every year, her friends went all out and went to a giant bash held by a local rock station. It was usually very funny, very drunk, and ended with a hang over and a lot of laughter.

The shower had steamed up her small bathroom, and Bella had to dry her hair by the window to keep from sweating. Seattle glowed, the streets wet but the night didn't hold the promise of rain. She smiled, thinking back over her day. Class had gone well; she and Lola had eaten lunch in the conference room with some people from the history department. It was just a light, carefree day. This was aided by the fact she had stayed at the library last night far longer than she had expected because Edward wasn't working, he was studying. This provided ample time for conversation in hushed tones over a library table. He was fascinatingly smart. He had an informed opinion on everything, and better yet, he liked listening to her opinions as well. Edward was unlike any guy she had ever met before. They met usually twice a week, enclosed in the reading room, and it made Bella feel alive and thrilled. It helped that he was mysterious, providing her brain with just as much of a workout. They never talked about personal things, only books or current events or studying, but this seemed intimate, the sharing of thoughts and ideas. The dark circles under his eyes worried her, though with his schedule it was a wonder he could sleep at all.

Bella groaned as she squeezed into the army green sheath, wincing as it revealed more and more. Lola had let her borrow the cadet costume she wore a few years back, and it was so beyond Bella's usual costume apparel. It hit the tops of her thighs, revealed cleavage, and had a really cute cap. The retro pin-up style _was_ pretty fun. Bella's hair was left loose in waves and the cap pinned on the side of her head. Bright red lipstick, black liquid liner, and nude silk stockings into black knee high boots completed the look.

"Well, it _is_ Halloween. No time like the present." This was going to take confidence Bella usually didn't show off. She just prayed she wouldn't run into one of her students at this party. She stood in her hallway, judging herself in the floor length mirror she reserved for making sure her skirts weren't tucked into her underwear and such. Bella sucked in her breath, surprised at the girl in the mirror. If she had told herself she would be wearing something like this in high school, she would have laughed in her face. But it was retro cool, and you only live once. She was out to impress no one, just to enjoy her friends and have a ball.

Her cell phone lit up on the counter, and Bella answered it with a smile. "No, Ang, I am not backing out."

Angela's voice on the line was ringing with laughter. "Then meet us downstairs, you wild child."

The group of eleven friends, mainly Ben's band mates and their girlfriends, made their way downtown to a club populated by fellow costumed young people. Bella's legs were already freezing, nearly bare in the late October air. The crowds were immense, throngs of people in every direction. Lola and her fiancee Andrew were difficult to find, but soon made Bella laugh out loud. Lucy and Ricky Ricardo. Lola would pick the sassiest red head in history, and make her look hotter than anyone else.

"Excuse me lady, who are you and what have you done with my Bella?"

She smiled at her wryly, "I guess I'm her evil twin!" She covered her mouth with her hand and popped her butt out, Betty Boop style. The shot Bella had downed on her way into the bar was definitely already working. Angela handed her another one, and they clinked glasses and downed it together. So much for being the responsible adult! Bella's head spun and elbowed her way to the bar to get a diet soda. It was way too early in the night to have her wits totally thrown out the window. Lola pulled her out to the dance floor, and Bella quietly tried her best to loosen up. She was a mildly adequate dancer usually preferring to stand by the edge of the bar and laugh instead.

The group went to four different bars, having a raucous time that only silly costumes and copious amounts of alcohol can yield. Bella's stiletto boots were squashing her toes and she couldn't feel her legs when she stepped out of the smokey bar. Breathing in the fresh air, she sipped her vodka and tonic on the covered porch of their latest haunt. Cobwebs covered the roof, and Bella was grateful for the reprieve. Friends and fun were wonderful, but deep down, Bella was most comfortable quiet and in her own mind.

Her thoughts immediately traveled to Edward, as much as she wished she could say she never thought of him. Where was he? What was he doing? Did he known how to let loose and have fun? They only ever talked of school and serious things. The night sky was dark and starless, and Bella's breath was visible in the dark. Lola and Andrew spilled out onto the porch, laughing and tossing their heads back with something hilarious. It was obviously time to stop thinking and start going home so these drunken fools wouldn't be out too long.

"C'mon, kids, let's go home."

Lola stumbled her way over. "Bella! Oh Bella. Let's go home. I'm so drunk. Oh God. Let's go home." Bella laughed heartily at her friends, stumbling their way out of the bar. Everyone was having a merry time, and they laughed despite the cold. Adequate amounts of vodka did a lot for keeping you warm. The group slowly lost members, winding their way through the city dropping everyone at home. Angela and Ben were the last with Bella, meandering through the slick streets, seven blocks from Lucy's still.

As they turned the corner, Bella waved to Angela, confident she could make it home on her own. Her feet were aching and she longed to rip her boots off her feet and sprint home barefoot. She adjusted her eyes in the light. There was a man standing a half a block away, and her stomach dropped. Bella quickly crossed the street, fumbling at her keychain for her mace. The news hadn't relented about the mysterious murder of the young girl. She wasn't one to worry needlessly, but gut instincts exist for a reason. The man stood still as she passed on the opposite side of the road, keeping her head down and wishing for a longer, more modest costume. She took a deep breath as she reached around the corner, but in her haste, she met a large solid object with a giant _whoosh_.

"Oof! Sorry!"

"No need to worry, Bella." Her eyes lifted, meeting the golden eyes and bronze hair of the man she just had spent too much time thinking about in that smokey bar. He was dressed simply, leather jacket, white button down and grey slacks. He looked... delicious. His eyebrows were furrowed in thought and he crossed his arms across his body, swaying backwards putting more space between them.

"Edward! What are you doing here? I'm just walking home and saw some sketchy guy and just focused on getting away..." Bella wished her mouth would stop desperately. Edwards eyes flickered over her body, frowning when she wished her were grinning.

"I was walking home from my sister's house; she lives around the block. Pure coincidence. Maybe I can walk you home now." His voice was cold and deliberate as he turned and started to walk. Bella frowned slightly, glad for the company and to see him, but disturbed by his behavior. Did he disapprove of her slightly promiscuous outfit? What red blooded man would resist more leg? If he did dislike her on this basis, forget it. She did what she wanted.

"Tell me about your family, Bella. We need to talk about something. Something not related to you nearly being attacked on the streets, please, so I don't lose my temper and turn that corner and regret my evening." His voice was hard. Bella's heart thudded in her chest, nervous and finally connecting the dots. He wasn't angry with her; he was worried.

"Oh, okay... Well, my parents are divorced. My mom lives in Florida with her new husband, who plays minor league baseball. He's coaching at a small private college part time too. She's crazy. I love her, but she is a little loopy and spastic but really fun. My dad is a cop in a small town on the Peninsula called Forks. He's really reserved but deep down is a loving dad. Actually, he just got a girlfriend and they went to Fiji about four months ago. It's really sweet; she's bringing him out of his shell. Only child. Is that good?" His face had softened, but his body language was still pretty wound up.

"Edward?"

"Yes?" His voice was less terse than before all ready.

"Thank you. For worrying. I think it was a bit much, but thanks. I can take care of myself, you know. Besides, the guy probably was just smoking or something; you're probably overreacting." Bella smiled weakly at him, and her heart sped up as he flashed her a crooked grin.

"Sorry, Bella, but I think I can... read people a little bit better than you, at least creepy guys on the street." He seemed to have calmed down, but they were still making it through the Seattle streets too quickly for her stilettos to handle.

"Um, Edward? Can we slow down a little? My feet are killing me." She hated to complain, but Bella had consumed enough alcohol that her tongue felt loose.

"Sure, sorry, sorry. I should carry you home or give you a piggy back ride or something. But I'm not sure I like the idea of anyone else enjoying the view of your legs..." His eyes appraised her seriously, and Bella's body caught fire with the leer she had waited so long for. She licked her lips at him, shocked at the feeling lighting her body up. Bella was surprised that sparks weren't shooting out of her fingertips. Their pace slowed, but soon they were staring up at the empty neon sign that read "Lucy's". The curtains were drawn, and the narrow staircase leading to her apartment seemed daunting in the heels.

"Would you like to come up? For a cup of coffee? Or something? Or just to make sure I can make it up the stairs?" Bella's tongue wouldn't stop. Her slightly tipsy, sexually frustrated mind had Edward on her quilt, wishing for satin sheets and something sexy instead of something worn faded.

"I'd like to come up and make sure you're safe, yes, but nothing more Bella." Bella frowned, making her way up the stairs wondering why he had to shoot her down so soon. So matter of factly. The door unlocked easily, and they were inside before she could blink. Her keys went on the counter, and she gestured to the coat rack by the door. Edward hung up his jacket and walked into her kitchen.

"I'll put some tea on if you have some." She pointed above the coffee pot, and he filled her kettle with water. Bella saw herself in the mirror and barely recognized herself. But she sure could smell herself. She smelled like a bar in the grossest of ways.

"I'm going to hop in the shower... Please stay." His eyes flashed at her, and she quickly ducked away. The shower was quick and hot, washing the makeup and the smell of beer, smoke, and sweat down the drain. She dressed quickly in brown yoga pants, a camisole, and a long draped cardigan swung around her body. The steam from the shower fogged up her bedroom, and she stepped breathless into the hall.

The room was empty, the door closed, his jacket gone. Bella would have thought she dreamt it all up if not for the cup of tea on the counter with a note.

_Bella -_

_I am sorry I left when you asked me to stay. Please forgive me. If you do, please come to the reading room tomorrow night. I'll be there, hopeful to see your face._

_Yours - _

_Edward._

Her heart thudded, and she left the tea on the counter and slipped into bed. Her mind was overwhelmed with thoughts, so she pushed each and every one away. The clock read 2:30 am, and she fell heavily into a restless sleep, seeing golden eyes and dark city corners everywhere she went.

-

At four am, a letter on parchment, sealed in red wax, slipped under Bella's door. It whispered the sweetest of nothings, adoration oozing at every line. The man walked away swiftly into the night as it began to rain, washing the blood from his coat. He smiled to himself, after all, it had been a very successful night.


	5. Chapter 5

Bella woke, pale light filtering in as she swallowed thickly. Austen wrapped her body around her head, purring gently and rubbing her whiskers against Bella's jaw. Swinging her legs over the side of the bed, Bella scowled surveying the aftermath. Sheets were tangled everywhere, sweat beaded on her brow. Turns out that shower last night was truly worthless - not only had it allowed Edward to walk out on her, but it would only need to be repeated this morning. She didn't remember her dreams, but they were haunting nonetheless. A hot shower, long and cleansing, scrubbed her of her night sweats and negative thoughts. What had sent Edward home? Was she that unattractive with some booze in her? Was she that repulsive? Maybe he was a Puritan. Obviously not, since he had severely oogled her legs in those stockings... Thank God for stockings, the sure way to any man's heart.

She dried her hair in silence, thinking about the ways to spend her Saturday. Everyone would be too hung over to do much of anything. She felt fine, surprisingly, and pulled on baggy jeans and a thin turquoise hooded sweatshirt. Bella brushed her teeth, forcing her feet in her grey boots, and she pulled her bag over her shoulder. It was only 12. A few hours at Lucy's chatting with Angela and then she knew where she would find her feet taking her. The Reading Room. Inside, she hated knowing that she would come to him when he left her, but the unanswered questions in her mind fogged any sense of pride. If he wasn't receptive and kind today, it was done. She opened her door, suddenly noticing a letter under her doormat. It was sealed with a thick wax stamp - of a rose.

Bella's brow furrowed as she ripped the seal and opened the thick parchment.

_I watch your beauty grow and grow_

_Ever more lovely each day,_

_I cannot wait to kiss you slow,_

_and by my side I know you'll stay._

_In my mind I see you smile,_

_And hear the words you've said,_

_I'll watch you all the while,_

_My love for you blood red._

Her heart pumped against her sternum, wondering what it all meant. Well, she chastised herself, she knew what it meant - Love, lust, or whatever it must be since she wasn't pursuing anyone - except... Surely Edward wouldn't have denied her, run from her, and then come back to leave a letter. But there was no one else in her life, sad though it may seem. Old boyfriends gone to California or Denver, or holed up in Forks with exotic Quileute wife. Bella scoffed at Jacob or Mike ever daring to write her poetry, high school boyfriends gone awry. Who else could it be? Bella tucked the letter in her bag, certain she would not speak of it until she saw Edward and could confirm it with him. And harass him about being a little less hot and cold.

"Hey Ang," Bella called as she tucked into her favorite small table, right underneath the window closest to the counter. Angela was wearing bright pink with her glasses smudged with coffee and bangs pinned in her ponytail. Lucy's was quiet, one patron grabbing a cup to go and another packing up their laptop. Angela flipped on the small flat screen in the corner as Bella pulled out a history graduate student's paper that needed proofing. She may not know the facts, but she certainly knew diction.

"Oh my God, Bella, have you heard about this?" Angela's face was paper white.

"_Three girls found murdered in Seattle streets last night, a gruesome Halloween tragedy the likes which we have never seen. One girl, Anne Meadows, has been identified and her parents spoke to reporters just an hour ago. Anne was an Oregon State graduate who moved to Seattle a year ago to work for an interior design firm. She was 24 and on her way home from Halloween festivities." _The camera flashed to crying parents, a blond girl in a cap and gown, the same girl in a white dress by the beach. "_NBC News has just confirmed the identity of the second victim, found four blocks away from Anne, a 27 year old associate at W.R. Jones Legal, a specialist in tax law. Her name is Julia Jeffreys." _Cut to a brunette in a power suit and soft makeup, shy smile in an obvious publicity photo for the lawyer's business card. "_The other victim has not been identified. All three were young women, all single, and detectives report that they are investigating these murders to the extent of the law, though no leads yet. If you have any information about these attacks, please contact NBC Action News."_

Bella's heart wasn't sure it could take any more of this. Her phone vibrated on the table, and she immediately answered upon seeing Charlie's number. They exchanged a few quick words about the murders, him grateful for her safety, and urged her to take some time off and come home. Forks was surely much less dangerous than frightening Seattle. Sadly, Bella agreed with him. Wild animal attacks rarely amounted to three girls a night. She declined his offer of her old bedroom, needing to stay for her classes. He promised to call and check in with a friend in the Seattle police department and let her know any news. And of course, made sure she had the gun in her nightstand - she didn't but she lied - and her mace on her keychain - she did.

"Charlie have anything to say?" Angela's worried expression peaked over the counter, as she rounded the corner with two steaming lattes. She sat down across from Bella, chewing her lip in thought.

"No, just the usual worry and anxiety... This time it is actually well warranted, I have to say."

"Maybe you should come stay with me and Ben until this is solved, Bella. I know it sounds silly, but I worry about you all alone."

"I'm hardly a pariah, Angela, I can take care of myself. And anyway, the last thing you need is me and Austen smelling up your apartment." Her eyes crinkled in laughter, mirrored back at her over Angela's spectacles. They fell into companionable silence, Bella's eyes finally dropping to the paper in front of her as she sipped her latte. A few corrections and half an hour later, and she was done and could finally pick up the latest novel she poured over.

Angela was cleaning out a machine as Bella packed away her things, waving to her. "Goodbye Ang, promise I'll be safe. You do the same, you know." The doorbell clanged and Bella watched the clouds darken with dusk on the way as she hopped on her bike to school. The inevitable couldn't be avoided. Edward would be waiting, and she could finally let loose the many questions on her mind. The library steps were littered with flowers, memorials to the slain girls mounted on easels that defied the wind and rain. Bella reminded herself to light a candle at any vigil held for this terrible tragedy.

She waited only a little while until the familiar head of tousled hair appeared before her, striding so gracefully he shamed anything near him. No man should be able to command so much attention in an empty library, occupied only by her on this Saturday night. He looked devastating, light green shirt and dark jeans effortless and cool with motorcycle boots. His eyes were dark, and when he sat before her, she was taken aback. They weren't just dark - they were black. What happened to the golden eyes she had left the night before? Or rather, had left her the night before?

"You have a lot of things to explain, Edward. I'm not angry or crazy or anything, I'd just like to know why you run so hot and cold... Leaving, checking me out, writing me love letters, leaving me... So much to explain."

"I'm sorry to have offended you last night. I just needed to make sure you were home safely. I couldn't stay, it was too tempting." He smiled wryly at her, and her thoughts flashed to those she had coming up the stairs. Their hands clasped on her head board, Edward sprawled across her bed naked, her head thrown back. _Okay, seriously, get a grip, Bella. _

"But, Bella, I wrote you no love letter... sorry, I didn't think we were at that stage yet. I have a lot of things I could put in such a letter, but I've never written you one..._yet_, anyway." Her eyebrow furrowed, pulling the letter from her bag. She placed it on the table in front of him, and his hand reached for it, grazing hers on the way. She ripped her hand back, shocked at the sensation. She felt electrocuted, his hands as frozen as ice, sending a current so strong up her body she almost felt her teeth clack together. Bella couldn't help her hands from shaking, and also couldn't meet his eyes as they bore into her from across the table. What was he about? What was up?

"Bella... they have found letters stamped like this before." He pulled out a small laptop from his bag, the latest model Bella had seen advertised on TV, and began typing furiously. In the blink of an eye, he had the screen in her face - a news site about the murdered girls. _Casanova murders: The Mysterious Clues - all 4 girls had letters with a rose stamp, the ink faded with no trace._

Bella looked into his black eyes, and rolled her eyes. "These were blank letters, mine is not."

"Bella, I am sure they once held love letters. Casanova? They just aren't saying what the letters contained before they were found in the rain." His smooth, pale skin looked whiter than usual, the skin underneath his eyes nearly pitch.

"Listen... The letter, whatever, I am sure it is a copycat or something. Or maybe an ex-boyfriend. I don't know." His eyes squinted as she mentioned old boyfriends, hands clenching at the table. "What I need to know now is if you like me and if you are a drug addict. Sorry to be blunt and frank here, but well, all signs point to meth or blow or something. I don't judge, but I don't date users."

He threw his head back in laughter, long column of neck exposed. "Oh, that is funny. I am no drug user. And I _like_ you quite a bit, you could say. You are the most beautiful person in the world to me, and I want nothing more than to make you my own."

"I'm going to need a reason for you looking so haggard, feeling like a corpse, crazy eyes and working all night, insomniac. This all says drugs." Bella's gutsiness lay over her extreme excitement that he seemed to like her, though her fear of being hurt... again... seemed to mask anything else in her mind.

"Let's just say this, Bella, shall we? I am unlike any one you have ever met. I'm... well, I'm not the hero in any story - quite the opposite, but I'm no drug addict. I am something else entirely."

With that, he stood up, ran his hand through his hair, and gave Bella a look that seared her very insides. He was melting her from the inside out. She was really and actually breathless. Edward walked away, leaving his laptop in front of her. She knew he wasn't bad, but something told her to proceed cautiously, when all she really wanted to do was beg him to take her here on the table. Furrowing her brow again, trying to figure him out, she opened Google and sat with the blank screen for a long while.

She finally typed in "cold villain at night" - the cold she knew, at night for his insomnia, and villain since that's the opposite of hero. Only one search result made sense.

**Vampire.**

**- **

**Authors Note: Thanks so much for all of your reviews! Hope you enjoyed this chapter! Please review. :)**


	6. Chapter 6

The light from her kitchen tossed shadows around her cup as Bella poured the hot water around the tea bag. It was the day before Thanksgiving, her mind finally set free to think about the last 20 some days. She had avoided the library, grading papers at Lucy's, trying to wipe her thoughts away. The smell of bergamot filled her senses, taking a deep breath of her earl grey, and Bella sighed heavily. _Vampire. Vampire. Vampire._ The word made her stomach clench, unsure of what to do next. She had successfully avoided Edward for almost three weeks. This didn't mean he didn't occupy her mind, swirl around her brain, and set up residence in her dreams. Every night, Bella saw his face and felt conflicted even in her subconscious. The intense attraction, the mental connection, so many things said "stay" where something very large in her mind said "run"... and she didn't know for certain that her Google search had yielded anything at all. Sure, she had read Bram Stoker's Dracula like every other person. She had watched some Buffy, lusted after Angel and wished she kicked ass like Sarah Michelle Geller. So was she jumping to conclusions she had no right to make? There really was only one way to find out : to ask him face to face. But that would take her down a yellow brick road she didn't know what to do with.

It was only ten, school out of session until Monday. Her students were driving her crazy preparing for finals, Lola was making her insane by constantly holding up bridesmaid dress photos in front of her nose. She was driving out to Forks tomorrow, her hometown, for a traditional dinner at her father's house with his girlfriend Sue, her family, and the Blacks - Jake, his father, and his wife Leah. It would be loud, raucous, filled with football and food. Fun, but the sort of family time that made Bella appreciate her rather solitary life in Seattle. They would no doubt hassle her about moving home, away from the big dangerous city, complete with new murders a week. There had been one additional murder since the triple homicide on Halloween, with no details given to the public. It was scary, but life couldn't be driven by fear.

That thought had Bella chuckling in her tea, thinking of how fear was keeping her from the library and Edward. Maybe she would visit him after all. She pulled on a dark purple sweater, dark skinny jeans with a worn through knee, and navy flats. The bathroom mirror smudged with toothpaste, taunting her into staying and cleaning. Instead, she swiped on mascara, brushing her long hair and pinning two strands away from her face. Her bag was light, no papers to grade, but plenty to read - two novels and another thesis to check for a friend. Austen opened one eye on the bed, watching her human bite her lips with uncertainty, pausing as she left and locked the door. The cat was unimpressed.

Her palms started to sweat as she hit the stairs in front of the library. She stopped on the 10th step, looking upwards, saying a silent prayer. _Please let me be wrong. I'm too far gone now._ She ached at the loss of conversation with him. He needed to be human, to be real beyond myth, and he needed to miss her as much as she missed him. That was that. She transversed the hall, glad for the silence of students gone home, pulse in her ears. Who knew if he would even be here? She turned the corner and in that empty space was one landmark. Edward stood by a table, rag in hand, dusting. He faced away from her, gorgeous in reverse, and Bella saw him angle his head as though he heard her walk in. His hand stopped. Edward turned to face her, and Bella gasped as their eyes met. She fumbled for the chair in front of her, feeling lightheaded as her knees gave in. She was certain the carpet wouldn't feel good as she blacked out. But she never met the carpet, instead falling into a pair of immensely solid arms. Arms like rock.

Moments later Bella's eyes fluttered open, still circled in those arms, blushing furiously at herself. Edward's perfect face looked over her, eyebrow furrowed in worry and golden eyes surveying her face. She was mortified. She shot out of his arms, covering her face with her hands, moving away quickly. As she did so, she was taken over by her physical reaction to him. How _embarrassing_, what was she, 13? Did not seeing him for three weeks really make her that much more responsive to him?

"Oh God I want to crawl into a corner and die!" Bella couldn't meet his eyes, staring at her hands instead. He chuckled, softly, crossing those saving arms in front of his chest. Edward pulled out two chairs on the same side of the table, motioning to sit in front of him as he sat and rested his head on his hand keeping eyes on her at all times. Hands shaking and still beet red, Bella sat and stared. His eyes were golden, circles less dark under them, and she reached out to touch his face. He pulled back slightly, looking concerned, then pushed his face back into her hand. Ice. She recoiled, crossing her fingers in her lap and knew the questions to ask. Quickly glancing around, she knew that no one was around.

"Edward." His eyes met hers. "This may sound crazy, but... are you a vampire?" His eyes closed. His tongue darted out and wet his (perfect) lips. Even though Bella had just asked him if he was a serial killer made from the deepest darkest fears of peasants the world over, she couldn't help but feel intensely drawn to his mouth. It was sick. She was sick. This whole situation made her crazy. And yet, she was on the edge of her seat, waiting.

He nodded.

The world stopped. She turned from him, and laid her head down on the table in front of her. She tried to get her breathing under control. She was feeling a lot of things. Nothing made sense. She had gone over, and over, and over this for weeks. She just thought she was wrong. But underneath all the fear and confusion, it didn't change that not only did he care for her, she missed their conversations like a limb. And just like that, he left. Bella felt his presence exit the room, his sweet smell, and she lifted her head from the table. In front of her was a small note, written in all capitals, bold and elegant at the same time. Definitely not the script like the love letter.

_Gone to get you some tea. I will answer any questions you have then._

Bella gulped, willing her emotions under control. She just needed to come at this from a different angle. He was a vampire. A _vampire._ As much as her mind knew that it couldn't be real, her fiction loving mind began formulating a number of questions. _Who what where when why how? _The thoughts came swirling at her, and she turned her head at the smell of black tea steaming in her nostrils. Edward probed her eyes with his, so she started there first.

"Gold eyes? They were black."

He nodded, taking a deep breath. "After I feed they are golden. If I have gone a long time without it, they are darker."

"What is it? Feed on what? People?" He clenched the table, hanging his head.

"Used to. For a little while. Now it is this funny joke. I'm a _vegetarian_ - that is, I don't eat people. I hunt animals. Not people. Not for... a long time." Bella released a breath she didn't know she held, glad to know he ate animals. And not people. And not her.

"How long?" Bella didn't meet his eyes, she stared at her bag on the table. He spoke tightly, as though he was waiting for her to run screaming. She chastised herself, because she should be running away.

"I was born in 1901. I was turned into this when I was just seventeen." That was a long, long time ago. He was very young. Bella's mind reeled, her perception of reality shifting. Her grandfather hadn't been alive then. Edward was literally older than anyone she had ever known. She knew he looked young, but guys in general age so weirdly, it all depends on facial hair and how much they worked out. Not like herself, complete with the beginnings of laugh lines.

"This is bizarre, Edward. This makes my head spin. I'm actually feeling a little light headed... again."

"Can I walk you home?" His voice sounded so sincere, so honest, that Bella could not refuse him. He stood, she stood, and she looked up into his eyes for a moment. Edward was tall, so she only met his navy covered clavicle. He sighed, and she wished for the moment to know him more. Know his thoughts and dreams, as a man, not as a myth. Would he leave her alone? Would he disappear from her life? Somehow, even knowing what she knows, she feels drawn to him in an intense way, a way she cannot explain.

They walked in silence, the overcast sky hanging low above them. Bella had an infinite amount of questions to ask the man beside her. She just didn't know if she could hear the answers.

"Bella, I understand and appreciate if you never want to see me again. But I have to tell you that it would make me very sad. I would miss you. I like you in my life." She moved to open her mouth, but he raised his ice finger to her lips. "I would like to say this all before you say anything, please. I'm permanently a teenager. I am a century old. I haven't ever had human interaction, never had a human in my life since then that I could talk to like I converse with you. I am attracted to you. If I were normal, I would be desperately courting you and trying to win your heart. But I am not normal. I am a monster trying to be a man, trying to live my life well as best I can. And I could hurt you in a flash, I am this dangerous. But... I don't want to. That's all I can offer."

They were standing outside her apartment now, and her breath was coming in pants. His breath fanned over her face, sweet and intoxicating, and the sky crackled above them. Rain was coming. Wasn't it always? Her mind was absorbing this new information at a rapid pace, reacting in a way strange to think of. All she thought was 'he likes me' when really her thoughts should be 'he could kill me.'

"Well, I have a cat. Don't kill my cat. She's my friend." Her voice was small in the heavy air as it broke open.

Edward threw his head back laughing, drops falling on his impossibly perfect face. "You are only concerned with your cat? No worries, she doesn't tempt me. Think this over. Are you spending tomorrow with your family?"

She nodded without thinking.

"Can we meet for coffee here Friday? Or Saturday? Whenever you are coming home."

"Friday. Noon? Do you even drink coffee?" He shook his head, smiling at her. Without thinking, she lifted her hand to brush a stray lock of hair from his face, shivering and noticing how affected she was by his very presence.

"Drive safely. If you don't wait to see me, just don't come down. I won't come get you. And I will totally understand. I'll be heartbroken, well, if I had a heart, but I will understand. Goodnight, Bella."

"Goodnight, Edward." She fumbled up the stairs, falling into her apartment. What had she gotten herself into?

And more importantly, why did she want to invite him up so badly?

**Author's Note: Thanks so much everyone! **


	7. Chapter 7

Another would die tonight, on the way home away from their families. They would go missed in the holiday season. There would be a big funeral, a lot of press, a lot of young girls crying and hurrying around street corners. Not that it would do anything differently, not that he would change, not that any of them could avoid the death that would come to them. Early or late, everyone dies. We all meet an end we wish wouldn't come. Too bad, so sad, cry in your milk and move along. Some just met their end when others dictated. He was the one who would make the decisions now.

-

"Jacob, I swear to God, if you do not get out of this kitchen I will kick your big butt myself!"

Bella shouted at her long time friend from her perch on the a stool in the kitchen, ushering Jacob out of the kitchen chastised with a bite of turkey in his mouth. For as long as Bella had lived in Washington, she had spent countless hours with the Black family. Hours watching sports she never cared about, hours spent outside in the rain, hours spent in their old garage watching Jake work on cars. He's a grown man, the tallest man she's ever seen up close, and happily married to his childhood friend and eventual high school sweetheart, Leah. Bella and Jake had been friends, then fallen into something like dating. She was 17 and didn't know what she was doing, where she was going. Then he opened his eyes and saw Leah on the rez and that had been that. Even then, there were no hard feelings. And now, Leah was this fierce woman that Bella idolized for the way she didn't take Jake's crap and handled her life and her people.

Sue, Leah's mother and Charlie's new girlfriend, was exceedingly good in the kitchen, and this allowed Bella to relax and guard the kitchen. Six month pregnant Leah was propped up on the couch, her younger brother, Charlie, and Billy all tuned out anything other than the game in front of them. The shouts of victory and groans of defeat sounded like home. Stretching her arms above her head, Bella felt a soothing comfort that eased her mind. Her thoughts had been overtaken by shadows and fangs and smoldering eyes. She had no idea what to do. Realistically, she would do nothing. She would let him slip from her life, become a bad dream, and move away from her world. It would be very easy. But her heart said otherwise. Maybe it would not be so easy.

"Any cute boys in your life, Bella?" Sue looked up from mashing the potatoes. Her sneaky smile said... something.

"Um, I mean not really." Bella was noncommittal. Reveal nothing, explain nothing. At least not about Edward. Surely that was the best option.

"Obviously a lie," replied Sue's saucy daughter from the couch. Leah had one long eyebrow raised, burrowing into Bella's shocked face. Was she that transparent? She didn't even have anything to say. _Oh, just this hot vampire who could kill me but doesn't want to._ Simply said.

"No, not a lie. I'm not dating anyone right now. Let's leave it at that, shall we?"

Sue and Leah exchanged a glance but let the subject drop. They quickly moved to baby names, with Jacob interjecting randomly shooting down the "hippie" names his wife was leaning towards. No Autumn, Sky, Audrey, nothing foreign - which had Bella scoffing - or Leila, Leah's particular favorite so far. Bella laughed at the duo, so strong and opinionated and everything passionate love should be. Would anyone make her want to fight them so badly but love them so deeply? Edward's face struck her and Bella felt short of breath. She knew tomorrow she would be meeting him. Her brain may tell her one thing, but she was bound and determined to ignore it.

At the table, the raucous was loud and happy. Eyes crinkling with laughter, Bella could never remember her house being this loud when she was in high school. In the past years, Charlie's life had swollen with happiness and loud friends in his home instead of keeping them in La Push on the river in a fishing boat. Charlie looked at Bella next to him, and reached over to squeeze her hand. The rather absent father who was uncomfortable with love she knew when she first moved to Washington was gone. He was present and joyous in his own life.

"Bella, I'm worried about you in Seattle. All those young girls... have you thought about carrying a gun? A taser? Something more potent than mace?"

"Dad... seriously? No. It's scary, but it's not really something I can let rule my life. I'm careful, I promise." Except with men, she added wryly.

"I thought about coming up there, Bells. Just until they catch the bastard," Jacob added through a mouthful of turkey. Even as a grown man, he was still obnoxious beyond belief. Leah looked up, furrowing her brow, but righted quickly and looked at her plate. Oh sure, Jake, leave your pregnant wife and come stay with this single girl, no matter how fond of a family friend and ex-girlfriend. Just wonderful.

"I can handle myself, thanks. Next topic." It wasn't strained, but Bella had to lay down the law or the police officers in her life would control it for her. Nothing would get them off her back but true force and will. After years of being meek with them in high school, she learned this lesson the hard way when they almost beat up Mike Newton the summer after freshman year at UW when he pressed her to the door with a long goodnight kiss. It sparked her to date him for far too long, just to tick off Jake and Charlie. Regretfully, for 6 months too long.

The topic changed to sports, the unstoppable force in this world, and Bella sunk into laughing along and thinking of Edward again. He dominated the landscape of her thoughts, and she could not focus on anything else. What would he say, what would she say, what would they do. What would or could come of this? She had a lot to learn. Googling seemed like the best option again tonight, holed up in her father's home crippled by dial up internet.

-

Her hands were shaking. Bella spilled her morning tea, fumbling around her apartment the next day. Her laundry was done, her toilet scrubbed, her shoes lined up in a neat row inside her closet. Nothing like pure nervous stress to do wonders for your productivity. It was 11:40, and Bella had 20 minutes before she would see Edward at Lucy's. She was wearing her favorite dark jeans, her favorite navy tee and her trusty silver flats Angela had talked her into buying on a whim. Her hair was down, her makeup light but on for self assurance, and her heart pounding in her ears. Austen wove her way through Bella's legs, happy to have her human home after a short trip away. The cat looked at her as if to say, What is the big deal?

"Um I don't know Austen, he could EAT you. And me I guess too, huh..."

What an idiotic thing to do. And yet, the clock ticked down and Bella knew where she would be going. Her feet took her down the stairs, around the corner. She passed the newspaper stands with headlines that read of two additional girls murdered on the Seattle streets, and Bella could not bring herself to stop to read them. She knew she was going to him. It may be the dumbest daring feat she ever attempted, but she had to try.

He was waiting just inside, eyes to his hands in his lap, with a white lily on the table next to him. He had purchased a coffee that sat untouched in front of him, but his eyes rose to hers as she opened the door with the familiar cling of the bell.

Too late to go back now, she was already sunk.

-

Sorry for the delay everyone! :) Hope to update more often... though school has to come first, you know. ;)


	8. Chapter 8

**Sorry for the terrible delay everyone! This semester is rough - and I'd like to become a veterinarian, thanks. So you know, you do what you gotta do. I hope you enjoy this chapter, as the story moves along. For inspiration for this chapter, I found Bon Iver's "Blood Bank" and The Decemberists' "Grace Cathedral Hill" very fitting. Look 'em up and listen while you read. I think you'll dig 'em.**

Her feet managed to place one in front of the other, not clumsily, just slowly. Edward's pale face was locked on hers, eyes warm golden honey searing into her eyes. She felt her herself flush, bowing her head bashfully to hide the pink stained cheeks she wore. Edward stood, raising himself gracefully and gestured to the seat in front of him. Bella set her purse on the floor below the table, and couldn't stop her hands from shaking as she sat down. Edward sat down again, wiping his hands on the front of his dark jeans. Bella released the breath she held, glad for some sign that he was nervous too.

"Hi Edward." Bella was, frankly, shocked her voice didn't waver like a thirteen year old boy's.

"Bella... It's so nice to see you. I really am glad you are here. I would offer you my coffee, but I fear it has gone cold. May I please order you something?"

"You're so polite, thank you. Um, just tell Frank I'd like my usual... I come here so often... they know my order." Edward quirked a half smile at her, and it was so devastatingly beautiful, Bella's heart nearly stopped. Well, rather, it sped up tremendously. Bella watched him walk to the counter, and flexed her hands from their tight fists and laid them on the table, wrapping her fingers around the lily. She lifted it to her nose, and closed her eyes as she breathed deeply.

"Beautiful." Her eyes popped open surprised, and flushed deeper than she ever had.

"The flower, I mean... well, who am I kidding, I really meant you." Edward's flawless face bowed in embarrassment, and Bella laughed at the sight of him. They really were a nervous pair. He smiled at her laughter, placing the huge latte in front of her gently. The honey aroma hit her senses immediately, and she looked at the man in front of her.

"Do you miss food?"

"I love watching people eat. But it has been so long... I don't think you can miss what you don't remember. Plus, food was different then. Less choices, more perfunctory, no steaming lattes or big pints of Guinness. I ate what the cook made, and that was pretty much my world." Bella pondered this curiousity, never considering that the world she lived in now was so different than the one he ever knew. It made her head spin. He had seen wars, presidencies, revolutions, global shifts in ideas, and massive culture shock. No wonder she had found him so fascinating, he was a true historical database in one man.

Lucy's was empty save Frank, the last patron ordering a take away cup of coffee. Frank was a fifty-something hipster, who made a lot of money in the software industry and decided to forgo it all for the low stress coffee lifestyle. He was in the back, turning on a mix Bella recognized from its frequent play - Bon Iver, Rocky Votolato, The Decemberists, a true mix of chill wonderful music. Blood Bank came on, and Bella couldn't help but giggle.

"I met you at the blood bank..." she sang softly to Edward, watching him throw his head back in laughter at the choice of lyric. His face was already softer than it had been earlier, and she felt comfort slip over her. How someone could be comfortable when their lives were in danger, she couldn't explain, but he made her feel right at home.

"How was Thanksgiving?"

"Loud. Raucous. SportsCenter. Fun, of course, it felt like old times. My dad seems so happy... he seems so real and alive and for sure. For the longest time, I thought he would ghost about his whole life, never laying down any personal touches on his life after my mom. But somehow, it's not like that any more. It's amazing. I guess Sue brought it out in him..."

"Or maybe you did... Maybe coming back to live with him made him open to letting people into his life to love again." The kind words from his mouth touched her so deeply, because they were honest and insightful. And nothing he could have said could make her more happy. Her mind raced with questions, but this just didn't seem like the time for bombarding with questions of the undead variety.

They fell into easy conversations rather than the deep discussions she had planned. It was the familiarity of the reading room all over again, before any secret lives came into question. She knew she couldn't deny it forever, but for now, it was enough.

-

Three hours, two lattes, one water, and one muffin later, Bella and Edward hadn't left Lucy's when Angela came in for her shift. The tall girl's eyebrows shot through her bangs in surprise, calling Bella over as she tied her apron behind her back. Bella tried to resist, but friendship years and years and bad boyfriends later, you can't deny those who know you best.

"You rang?"

"Excuse me ma'am, but what do we have here? Frank called me when you came in with this hottie to let me know what was up!"

Bella flushed thoroughly, tossing a glance over her shoulder at Edward, whose bronze hair was shining in the weak light from the cloudy sky. He _was_ a hottie. It was undeniable, and she bit her lip just thinking about the conversations that had flowed quietly and easily. They had discussed music (her indie rock, his classical, their hatred of pop) and art (her love of Baroque and shadows, his love of classical and Renaissance, their hatred of Dada) and everything silly that popped into her head. It was so unusual to find someone, let alone an attractive man, who literally had insightful opinions on so many topics and was willing to converse about them.

"That's Edward. I've been chatting with him at the library. I don't know where it is going or where we will be... but for now, he's refreshing."

"And delicious?"

"Shut your dirty trap!" Bella's grin couldn't be contained. She sweatted Angela with the dish rag from the counter, and went back to the table, feeling Angela's eyes on her as she sat down. Edward's golden eyes were gleaming with laughter, and she was stunned by them. Their warmth and light seemed alive, reaching out across the table and stroking her face making her breathless.

"I have a confession to make, Bella."

"You lied about what you are, just using it to see if I am really a masochist?" He smiled broadly, her pulse raced. She couldn't control it.

"I wish I weren't what I am, but actually... I can sort of... read people's minds. But for whatever reason, I can't read yours. And it's _fascinating me._"

"Are you saying something is weird with my mind? Can you read Angela's? Everyone's but mine?"

"Everyone's. And I find it extremely fitting that you are so convinced there is something wrong with YOU when I tell you I can read minds. I'm the freak here, Bella, not you. Just get that in your brain."

"Maybe we could just be freaks together." The silence sat between them, comfortable and full. The afternoon had gone before them, and Bella knew she couldn't monopolize him for long. Surely he had other things, bigger more important things to do. Saving children in Malawi from... whatever disease plagued them... Bella frowned at how little she knew about what he did, how much more he knew about so many things. All the years stretched for him, providing him with ample time to learn it all. It was easily intimidating.

"Angela's thinking about her boyfriend and how lucky she is, and how much she wants you to be happy with someone.... like me. I'd like that too, but I'm not the best guy for you, as much as I hate to admit it. I want to be the perfect man for you, the only one you can see, the one you let into your heart and bed and make babies with. But Bella... that's just not possible. I want it to be, but it can't be. Even if I eat animals, I'm still a monster. No amount of culture or dressing up changes it. My family and I are inherently not good people. The choice to live in harmony isn't easy, and it's just not best for you. Even if I have never wanted someone in my life so badly." His head was bowed, leaving Bella to stare open mouthed at his tousled hair. She wanted to run her hands through it, to pull his head to meet her eyes, and kiss his doubts away. He may have been right, but she didn't have to like it. She didn't.

"I don't care. That may be the dumbest thing I have ever said. I may regret it. I probably won't. I can't stay away from you any more. It sounds petulant, but you make me feel alive and I won't give that up. If you want me in your life, I want to be there. In every way. In any way you'll have me. I want you in all those ways, but I'll take you how I can get you."

The words stood before them, knocking down barriers and letting the truth ring in the quiet. Lucy's had grown swollen with customers, creating plenty of noise to shield the conversation from prying ears. Bella bit her lower lip, watching his eyes darken with every word out of her mouth. He looked tormented, stretched to the emotional max, but she reached out and laid her warm hand on his icy one. Her thumb worried the marble skin between his fore finger and thumb, trying to ease his heavy mind.

"I love this song." Bella's voice broke through the air, The Decemberists' "Grace Cathedral Hill" coming through the speakers softly. "This world may be long for you, but it'll never belong to you."

"I think I embody that phrase... It's fitting. Listen, I'm sure I've kept you too long... I'm sure you have plans or work to do. I was thinking, would you be interested in going out tomorrow night with my family? We were thinking a good night of pool or something may be in order. We may not get drunk, but that doesn't stop them from trying to swindle bets from unsuspecting patrons..."

"I'd love to. Want to pick me up at my place? I'd love to meet your family..."

"A date, then, I'll see you at 7. May I walk you out?" His gentleman ways were so endearing and refreshing, though Bella couldn't help but remind herself of his power and predatory instincts underneath it all. Truly the biggest turn on ever. Nothing like a bad boy with manners and a sense of protection. They made their way out, waving at Angela as they did, and Edward put his hand on the small of her back to lead her through the door. It was like an electric current shocked her with his cold fingertips, and she was almost sure he felt her press back into him.

The stairwell to her apartment stood before her, and he followed her up the stairs, the hairs on her neck standing at attention in excitement. She turned to face him, keys in hand, and looked up at his darkening honey eyes. He swept her hair back from her shoulder, placing one hand on either side of her head on her door frame. It was as though time stopped, her heartbeat racing, her breath coming faster than it ever had. He lowered his head in slow motion, ghosting his lips over her forehead, each cheek, and down into the dip between her clavicles as she stayed unbearably still. His lips were icy on her fired skin, leaving goosebumps in his wake, making her breath come faster with every touch. Slower still, he descended finally to her parted lips, kissing top and bottom individually as she arched into him. The sweetness of his kiss melted her, but it was over as soon as it began, and he was down the stairs in a millisecond, rounding the corner away from her.

It took many minutes before she was calm enough to fit her key into the lock to let herself inside.

**Hope this made up for taking so long! Please review and let me know what you think. Thanks for reading!**


	9. Chapter 9

Sorry for the long wait, dear readers! Thanks for sticking with me, and I hope you enjoy.

-

Her phone buzzed thickly in her ear, clock blinking 12:00. Power must have gone out in the night. Her hair swarmed around her in a nest that rivaled the wildest of bees or Amy Winehouse. Bella rolled over, clicking the call in, and murmuring a greeting into the speaker. It was Charlie, and it was 10 o'clock. He was calling to say hi and thanks for coming to Thanksgiving, and that he was coming down with something. Flu-ish, tired with a fever and feeling a little nauseous. Sue was coming over to make him soup, he was fine, but he wasn't working the holiday. Bella's heart palpably warmed knowing someone was taking care of her dad, grateful she could spend her day not worrying about him.

Suddenly, the night came back to her. She had a hard time falling asleep, tossing and turning until sleep heavily took her away. It was wild in her dreams, arched backs and gasps with a head of bronze hair over her. Intense pleasure, followed by pain so fierce she almost screamed out as he drank freely from her jugular. Bella's cheeks flushed at the overt sexuality, the typical feminine fantasy, written on terrible romance novels bought at the grocery store 2 for $5. She didn't know what she was thinking, entering into something so dangerous and wrought with death wishes galore. Somehow, it didn't seem real. Meeting Edward, that was so special in itself, connecting with someone on such an intangible level. The idea that he was dangerous... it just seemed so impossible. It hardly felt like her actual life.

She rolled out of bed, twisting her hair into a knot and stretched her hands above her head. Her neck popped, and she dropped food for Austen, camped out on the windowsill watching people pass below on the street. Bella's brain ran through the things to do today: _Wash dishes, Read Allen's paper, Grade papers. _How thrilling. Tomorrow would be another day out at the farm to gallop horses, so she knew at least half of her papers had to be graded today. As much as she enjoyed teaching, reading a bazillion one page papers on a required article through the school wasn't exactly awesome. It wasn't what she wanted to do forever; she wanted to inspire them and feel passion in their words.

Her phone buzzed, Lola asking to go to lunch to catch up. They made plans to meet at the burger joint down the street, and Bella was thoughtful about whether she should tell Lola about Edward, in whatever fashion she had to lie and amend the tale a bit. The thought carried her through her shower, blowing her massive hair dry, and dressing for the day as well as washing the dishes. The nervous feeling pooled in her stomach, feeling slightly uneasy about meeting Edward's family that night, but it was better to push herself through the day than to stumble in worry.

She hadn't noticed the parchment sealed with wax underneath her door until she was stepping out the door, barely giving it notice as she sat it on the counter and headed out the door. The news had reported of copycat letters, and had yet to prove that every one of the slain women had received them. Bella, a born skeptic, was certain someone was leaving them for her as a prank. She had a slew of freshmen that loved to make light of everything, and they knew where she lived, for certain. Obnoxious little eighteen year old boys.

"Oh God, Bells, you would not believe the nightmare I am having with these caterers..." Lola prattled on about wedding food, and Bella pretended to be interested. Her mind wandered, into what she should wear, what she should say, how she should act around a... family of vampires. Coven? Family sounded less forboding. Though, when throwing one's caution to the wind and dating someone who could kill you with a pinky finger, the name hardly seemed to be the most vital part of the tale. Jeans? A skirt? He did make that comment that time with the stockings and boots about her legs. Hmm. Maybe she did need to tell Lola about this. After all, Lola was the one with the insane diamond on her left hand. Girlfriends usually knew what to do. And, as long as she didn't have to go shopping for something dumb or wear metallic spandex, Bella just might let her choose.

"Lola, that's such a pain in the ass. I'm sure you and your mom will give them Hell.." The wedding chatter continued for a few minutes, Lola talking while Bella shoved her burger down ravenously. The bridesmaid dresses were navy with cream sashes, and the smell of menthol cigarettes filled her nostrils as Lola showed her the swatches. She'd obviously been stressed, and all Bella could do was think of her date. What kind of selfish friend was she?

"Okay Bells, seriously, you are on another planet today. What are you distracted by? Please tell me it could fuck you six ways come Sunday and relax your tight, prude Jane Austen loving ass?"

All Bella could do was laugh, and snort her soda all over her friend. "God, I hope he can!"

"I knew it! Who is he? Tell me everything!" Lola dropped the wedding swatches, and Bella screeched as they soaked up some of her soda while Lola pestered her about Edward. Oh, Edward.

"Met him at the library, got to know him, very interested, very handsome, very Feed The Children-Doctors Without Borders. Also very badass and mysterious and dangerous. Very everything."

"Oh, shit, girl, shit! The holy grail? Danger and a conscience?"

"Date tonight. Meeting his siblings? For pool?" Bella's brown eyes reflected her nervous energy, her unsure but excited breath coming rapidly.

"Outfit details. Slutty but not too slutty necessities. Casual but hot." Easy for the redhead with confidence in everything.

"I was thinking jean skirt. Turtleneck?" Lola smacked her hand to her forehead, frustrated with Bella's idiocy at anything seductive or non-casual. She was obviously an expert on all things jeans and tee shirt, added Chucks or boots or flats.

"Babe, you would think you were raised in a convent. He really has made you an idiot. Do we need to go visit your closet? I think we do." The pair got up from their small table, having paid long ago, and hopped up to Bella's apartment for the quickest removal of everything from her closet. Bella laid down the gauntlet. Nothing too short, no heels too tall, nothing too plunging, in short... she would wear nothing she felt like a hooker in. Or anything Lola would ever wear on a date. The redhead scowled, smacking her, but set to the task at hand. They settled, after about a hundred glares and wardrobe changes, on Bella's skinniest darkest jeans. The jeans were paired with a smoke colored long tee that was demure in the front with fluttered sleeves but dipped dangerously low in the back to her bra. She felt secure, pretty, with a dash of sexy. The shoes, however, made her stomach drop. Strappy platform heels in a silver that made her feel even sexier than she felt possible. It was odd. She bargained with Lola about the shoes, begging for silver flats instead, but in the end, she knew the effect was what she wanted. She wasn't over done; she was herself. Just hotter. And wobblier.

"Okay, you hot bitch. I've got a dinner thing with the man and you have something seriously hot to get ready for. Hair down, surprise him with that back. And please, girl, trust me and wear the shoes. He can carry you home." Bella ushered her out of the door, rolling her eyes all the way.

At a quarter of seven, Bella was strapping on the shoes and breathing deeply. She was dressed, she was showered and shaved, and she felt like she was worth showing off. Even if it was to your vampire family. Oh God. Why did it seem so impossible to remember he was _dangerous?_ Like left in the middle of the woods in your undies in a plastic bag dangerous? Her palms started to sweat as a million different scenarios played in her head like a movie. She sat down on her old couch, head between her knees, and took deep breaths. If this date felt weird, she was gone. He said he would leave her alone, as if he were never even in her life. Somehow, this only made her breathing more desperate. It felt irrational. What was this all about? She felt 13, emotional and crying in a bathroom stall at school because the boy she liked held hands with someone else.

The knock on the door startled her. She flipped her hair back over, trying to make it look as nice as it had prior to her freak out. She stood, trying her best not to fall on her way to the door, breathing deeply to infuse some courage and steadiness in both heart and mind. Standing in front of the door with her hand on the knob, she took one last breath, opened the door, and smiled into the face of a man who literally took her breath away every time. He was impossibly perfect tonight, as every night, in a black button up with the sleeves rolled up, dark jeans, and a leather motorcycle jacket. I'm sorry, Brad Pitt who? His lips were moving, pale elegant hand bringing a single violet tulip, but Bella could form no words. She was simply incapacitated. She blushed furiously, shaking her head and suddenly hearing him.

"So, what I am saying is, can I come in for a moment?" Bella nodded, but then the devil on her shoulder whispered that she may never let him leave... She didn't own handcuffs, and wondered if he could break them anyway. What an evil thought! It really was luck that Edward couldn't read her mind as well, the dirty thoughts drifting in without permission. She ushered him inside, almost offering him a beer before realizing how stupid that sounded. He really was unlike anyone else she had ever dated. He smiled his melting half smile, and her heart tried to regulate its own beats.

"You look beautiful." She flushed, feeling the flame on her face. The memory of his kiss on her throat, on her lips, was so incendiary she was sure she would burst in flames right here and now. She took the flower from his hand, filling her only small vase with water and placing it on her counter. Did she always have to explode when he was near?

"Thank you, and thank you for the flower. You're too good."

"I hope you still think so when the night is over, Miss Swan. Listen, I guess I just thought I would warn you really quickly about my family. You know the players, and I don't want to haze your judgement of them, but there are some important factors to know. Alice is so excited she can barely stay in her skin. She can... foresee things in the future, but very hazily. She is married to Jasper, who can influence emotions and is still a little uneasy in the life we lead, this not feeding from human veins. Emmett is perhaps the easiest of us all to be around. He is married to Rosalie, who... may or may not be kind to you. Probably the latter. I'm sorry in advance."

His long winded speech was said more out of nervousness than necessity. Warning her, giving her any chance to run and escape the inevitable. She shrugged, and made a move for the door. He reached out for her hand, encircling her wrist cautiously, fingers icy around the delicate bone.

"Wait. You're going to need a jacket. Care to wear mine?"

"Sure," she replied, her face lighting up at the thought of his smell all around her. He pulled his jacket off, the cool leather soundlessly slipping from his frame. He held it up, and she placed one arm in before the other. The jacket slid up her arms and he straightened it on her shoulders. The loose leather smelled incredible, and he stepped in closer and pulled her chestnut hair out of it. Her body nearly collapsed when he touched his cold lips to the base of her neck.

He whispered into her hair, "Love the shirt, Bella. Let's go, shall we?" He could have asked her anything. They moved down the stairs, his hand on the small of her back burning cold flame into her body. She stopped short at the end of the hall, eyes transfixed on a motorbike. It had to be fifty years old, shiny chrome and well taken care of.

"It's just like you."

He offered up a helmet, putting it over her hair and latching it safely. He slung one carelessly over his own head and climbed on the bike. Taking one deep breath, Bella hoisted herself onto it, feeling the solid mass of Edward's body in front of her. Her arms gripped his sides mercilessly as they eased onto the road, the wind around them and his scent blowing into her face. Heaven.

They arrived all too shortly at the bar, a rather empty establishment that looked like it maintained locals and regulars, without muss or needless fanfare. Edward helped her off the bike, her cheeks pink with delight rather than embarrassment. The thrill of the motorbike beneath her, the solid man in front of her, and the wind on her cheeks made Bella feel more alive than she imagined possible. She slid the leather from her body, handing it back to him, teasing him shyly with her exposed back. They exchanged grins and he cocked his head to the entrance. The others were waiting inside.

The other vampires were easy to spot in the rather dingy bar. A gorgeous, leggy blonde in a red dress clasped the shoulders of a tall burly man by a darts board, a fierce look of competition on both faces. Another blond, only this time in a wavy haired man, stood between the legs of a tiny woman with short dark hair as she sat at the bar. While they seemed intimidatingly beautiful, they weren't what she expected. She had expected gothic beauty, not just otherworldly features. They were stunning people, but people who didn't frighten her by sight alone.

"Edward, did you bring her on your bike so she'd think you were cool? You are sorely mistaken, sweetie. He usually drives a Volvo." The large man had curly hair and an irresistible smile. He shared the honey eyes that lit Edward's face, but had more joy and childlike enthusiasm. The blonde knockout ignored their arrival, tutting at the man to draw his attention back. He snapped back to face her, though not before waving at the duo.

"That's Emmett, don't let him talk badly about the Volvo. Besides, I also have an Aston Martin, so there."

The short girl hopped off the barstool, swirling her drink in her hand as she approached. "You drink vodka and soda, right?" She asked Bella, who nodded and took the offered with wide eyes and one raised eyebrow. "I'm Alice, and I guess Edward didn't tell you how good I am at telling the future, hmm? This is Jasper," she pointed to the man still at the bar who nodded and lifted his fingers to her in a casual wave. "He's not as forthcoming as I am, but I can tell you that we're going to be great friends." She flashed the brightest, megawatt smile, and grabbed Bella's hand, dragging her to the closest chair by the pool table. Jasper and Edward were already shedding their tension and rolling up the sleeves on their shirts and staring each other down.

"Are they competitive?"

"Oh God, just wait until Emmett plays the winner. I'll keep it a secret, for your sake. Where'd you get those insane shoes by the way? I need a new pair of sexy silver shoes to go with this super cute hot pink number I know Jasper will love..."

The two chatted about clothes, but Bella found herself a bit bereft of knowledge of current designers and trends. Dazzling with enthusiasm, they made plans to check out a vintage store Alice knew that was very off the radar with seriously low prices. Alice worked in a boutique while taking classes, sadly dreaming of a life she couldn't really obtain. She sold her designs and dreamed of fashion glory, but the whole... never dying, never aging thing seemed to hinder her. Too many questions that had to remain unanswered. Bella was struck with the impermanence of their permanence, how they had the immortal life without the benefit of the human power of making a mark on the world. Their mark was in existance. Forced into relatively unfulfilling lives, taking classes for careers they could not have, burdened with their supernatural ability and eternal youth. She sipped her drink; Alice finally settling into watching the boys. It was disrupting to pity these beautiful people who lived forever. To feel glad at her own life ticking away.

But where was it going if she would age and age and die, old in dentures and a diaper, and Edward would remain faithfully beautiful and strong? She hadn't planned on letting her mind wander to the future, making postulates on a life unlived. But she couldn't help herself. The idea of losing Edward seemed to make her throat close, but what other option did she have?

She got up, excusing herself to Alice as having a human moment, entering the murky hallway to a dingy bathroom. Obviously they hadn't needed to visit the facilities, because the deplorable condition was enough to make Bella want to scurry away. She splashed water on her face, focusing on having fun instead of planning the unforeseeable future. Cracking her neck, she dried her hands and made her way back through the hallway. Edward was waiting for her outside the door, small smile on his impossibly sculpted face. She took a deep breath and smiled back. Even if everything felt all wonky, this felt right. _They_ felt right. She bit her lower lip and leaned back against the wall across from him. His golden eyes darkened in the musty hallway, moving closer. Bella's mouth parted, index fingers moving to his belt loops. It felt _so_ right.

His lips descended as she tilted her face up to him, head coming to rest on the peeling wallpaper behind her. It was soft, sweet, but she needed more. Her fingers tightened and pulled his hips closer to hers, and he intensified the kiss. He tasted sweet like a candy she had never tasted, heaven in the most addicting form. Her leg left the ground, hitching around his hip, with a threatening growl escaping Edward's mouth. A shadow came over them in the hallway. Bella flicked a glance in it's direction when the shadow cleared it's feminine throat.

"Edward, please disengage. I need to have a word with the human."

Suddenly, Bella was scared for the first time in her date with the 5 vampires. Rosalie was not someone Bella wanted to meet in any darkened hallways. Edward stood between the women, guarding a flushed and lip swollen Bella. She raised a hand to his shoulder, pushing past him and cocking her head to the table where she and Alice had a friendly conversation. Something told her this chat would not be so amicable.

"What are you doing?" She was precise, no dancing around the subject. Bella couldn't resist a dig at the perfect woman.

"Well, Rosalie, I was making out with Edward in the hallway."

"Smart, but what are you actually doing with Edward aside from sucking face in this nasty bar?"

"Rosalie. I'm trying to date him. I'm trying to get to know him, his ins and outs and everything about him. Just like any normal girl on a date with a guy she is recklessly falling for."

"There's the word. Reckless. Do you have any idea what this is doing to him? Do you know? Do you know what this could do to us? You have no idea, and you are so blissfully unaware, blissfully ignorant. It's ridiculous. He could kill you, with your intentions on display in the hallway of a no name bar. You wouldn't see it coming, and our lives would uproot. Are you dating him for a story, an article, ready to put us on freakshow? Kill our whole clan, when we have finally found peace here, settling, not living like teenagers in one house like a goddamn Brady Bunch special? You will ruin us, I know it."

"Can you foresee the future certainly, Rosalie? I didn't think so. Please don't insult me. You may have found your happy peace, but Edward sure as hell hasn't. Don't pretend like you can't see how lonely he must be. I don't know what I'm doing, you're right. But I'm doing it. And the only think I am being reckless with is my heart."

Rosalie's mouth snapped shut, red lip on red lip. Her face steeled up, unmoved by Bella's rebuttle, closed to her any further. Bella stood, tottering only slightly in her heels, turning to find Edward snarling with a broken pool stick in his hand. He threw it on the table, Emmett's eyes dark with worry as he stepped toward the two women. Alice and Jasper were gaping at them, and Bella whirled around to the door. She would destroy this peace with her presence. She would ruin it by merely existing.

The night air was a shock on her cold back, her hand raised into the night to find a cab just around the corner. Sliding onto the vinyl seat, her heart thudded in her ears as she saw Edward in the doorway illuminated in neon. Four figures behind him, but only he was alone. She left him there, breathing heavily and wishing to God it had gone differently. That he wasn't what he was, that she wasn't what she was, that the world didn't matter and that everything could be right and good with the snap of two fingers. She snapped. The pain remained. It was no good. It was only hurt. The cab trudged through the street, and when she got home, she cried until she couldn't see straight. A calm came over her around 3, and she settled into slumber, dreaming of cold arms around her that felt like home.

-

Sorry it took forever again. I'm loving summer, finally free from school, and this chapter took about 10 writing days to get through. I am currently reading and loving Hydraulic Level 5, Mr. Horrible, and Tropic of Virgo most of mostest. Check them out, and leave some love. It'll get me through!


	10. Chapter 10

Thanks so much for your interest, guys, I really love each and every one of the reviews! :) Recommended listening: No Other Way, Paolo Nutini; There's No Greater Love, Billie Holiday; Walking After You, Foo Fighters. Thanks so much to everwondering, who is a stellar beta.

The morning was grey, and she was grey all inside too. Even a good night's sleep thanks to a sleep aid didn't take the edge off. Nothing did. Not a hot cup of tea, Jane Austen, and Austen the cat in her lap in her favorite chair. How could Edward not have come for her? How did he not stop her? Her mind wandered, seeing his arms before her in the cab, ducking in with her and away from the reality of life. They couldn't hide forever in seedy bars with her leg hitched over his hip, but she would die trying. Well, perhaps that was just it, wasn't it? Wouldn't she die trying? If only she had Alice's foresight, only clear and true. Their relationship did defy natural law, and Bella had always been a proponent of evolution and naturalism. The strongest survive, and some things just weren't meant to be due to natural law. And yet, here she was all the same. Edward occupied a space in her brain she could not shake, and if she was really honest, a place in her heart as well. _Idiotic girl_, she chastised herself.

She flipped on the tv, desperate for thoughts unrelated to her own personal drama. A commercial for laundry detergent was quickly followed by a news update, breaking news indeed. The serial killer, the Casanova Killer, had struck again. Another single woman, 29, living alone several blocks from Bella's own apartment. No letters found, but the murder could not have been another's doing. No clues or DNA in any of the murder scenes of any kind. Her blood ran cold as a woman who looked like any other came on the screen. She could have walked past her, spoken to her, known her. She could have _been_ her. Bella sat transfixed on the couch, listening to them talk of copycat letters delivered to many women all over the city. Or were they real? No one could decipher, but Bella looked at the red wax sealed letters on her counter and gulped. Surely hers were fakes. Weren't they? Could she avoid it forever? A man was recently arrested for copycat letters, so maybe hers would cease to slide underneath her door in the middle of the night.

Shaking her head bitterly, she dressed for the day, a brighter day. A green dress, leggings, green flats, and a pink cardigan. She cried for no man. Well, maybe just Edward Cullen. Nothing in her life had prepared her to fall for a man so perfect for her and yet so obviously unavailable. Turning quickly at a noise on the dresser beside her, she had a text from an unknown number.

_Bella, it's Alice! Meet me at Turn It Around at 12 and we'll shop, we have a lot to talk about!_

Shopping? Um, hi, remember me, I think I pronounced my love to your vampire "brother" and then ran away after being verbally assaulted by your vampire "sister" and am pining and lonely and think it's all over for me.

_Sure, see you there._

Her stomach was too queasy to eat. She hopped on her bike, the wind cold on her face and breath puffing visible in the air. She was early, but Alice was already waiting under the awning of the shop. She bounced on her stilettos waving, dressed in a short sleeved wrap dress despite the weather. Bella waved back as she locked her bike down, walking sheepishly to Alice's side.

"You should know, Bella, you can't pull one on me and get some place earlier than I can. I'm too good." She nudged Bella in the ribs, pulling a laugh out of her nervousness. "The store doesn't open until 1, but I sort of own the building so I talked the owner into us looking around early and speaking freely." Alice shrugged, casual about her wealth.

"You people sure are full of surprises, Alice."

"C'mon, I see a 50s party dress I must look at. I'm not as bad as I seem, but I can guarantee you that I won't allow you to spend a dime, but you'll go home with a ton of new clothes. Seriously, shut up and let me do this to apologize for Rose being such a bitch."

As Bella tried on a variety of fun vintage pieces, she was won over time and again by how fun and carefree Alice was. She would seamlessly fit in with any group of girls, always having a joke or a story to tell and a willing ear. It was enough to let her guard down, and finally feel comfortable enough to ask the questions she'd been longing to ask.

"Alice, I have to ask you something." They were both standing in front of a large mirror, Bella in a 90s flannel and Alice in 60s couture. Very appropriate, Bella thought off hand.

"I hate flannel. But somehow, it looks less homeless and more urban Kurt Cobain chic. I saw some killer Fryes you have to pair with that with a denim mini. To die for on you."

"Has Edward ever... dated a human before?"

Alice cocked her head to the side and quirked a smile at her. "Bella, the question should perhaps be 'has Edward ever dated anyone before?' But no. As I am sure you have noticed, Edward is different than most men. I heard this from a movie, but he's quite the iceberg, only showing so much with epic amounts of himself hidden underwater. He has never brought anyone around, had anyone in his life. I can't tell you a lot, but I will tell you, Bella." Her face was serious all of a sudden, stark against the interlocking C's on her suit.

"Edward has never met anyone who will affect his life like you will."

"What happens next, Alice? Where do I go from here; how does it end?"

Alice smiled again, shrugging out of the jacket and putting it in her "to buy" pile. It was significantly bigger than Bella's, who did manage to find lovely things.

"Do you believe in fate?" Bella nodded gently, putting the plaid next to the 501s in her pile.

"I do too. But living with precognition and a life that never ends, I will tell you this one thing. Fate brings people to one another, but it doesn't keep us together. I see something, and in an instant, it changes. Our actions and choices make us. We all have a choice. Someone has to make a choice to make it work, to keep it working. I don't know how it ends, not really. I just know how it's ending right now. And you know I won't say a thing. But..."

"But what?"

"But you know what you want to do, Bella. You know, in your heart of hearts. Don't let Rosalie make your choices for you. She doesn't know a damn thing about you or Edward, she just sees our family as finally living separate happy lives. Do you know how miserable it is to go through high school dozens of times? We may have to change jobs or schools or names to make our lives work now, but it's so much better than high school."

"I can't imagine. I was awkward enough in one high school experience to last many, many lifetimes." Bella didn't know what else to say. She did know she wanted more Edward, to be the one in the scuba suit discovering what was hidden in the icy water. She wanted to know more, to feel more, to have more. To have him in her life. That there was something worth discovering.

"But he needs someone in his life, and I think that someone is you. That's all I will say about that. Did you see the rack of prom dresses? It's a good thing I drove the Escalade, we're going to need the room to get all our stuff home. Your bike won't fit it all!"

-

It was evening, and Bella's new clothes were stuffed in her closet. Alice was a bulldog about the purchases, not allowing a peep from Bella about buying it all. It was a little annoying, but really fun nonetheless. Making pennies as a graduate student trudging through a PhD didn't make you money to buy classic amazing clothing, and Alice did say it was an apology for making her take a cab at night and Rose just being protective. Her back cracked as she bent down to swoop Austen up in her arms, nuzzling her face before putting the offended cat back on the ground. Bella had already put on pyjamas, making vegetable stir fry in a sleeveless nightgown. The smell made her stomach growl, eating for the first time today. She had just turned the heat off the rice when a knock on the door made her jump. She tiptoed to the door, peeping a glance to find Edward, looking dashingly handsome in his motorcycle jacket. She swallowed her nervousness and swung the door open.

"Hi, I'm sorry, am I interrupting?" His voice even broke her heart, sounding sheepish and worried. She grinned at him and gestured him in with her wooden spoon.

"Just making dinner, come on in. I have enough for two, but I am afraid this isn't quite your poison."

"Mmm, not as such, no." He leaned back on the counter, his eyes blazing a trail down her bare legs, pale and exposed in the harsh kitchen light. She blushed intensely and plated the food, walking into the living room without a spoken invitation. He shrugged off his coat and hung it up, toeing off black motorcycle boots leaving him in jeans and a charcoal tee that clung to his body. She crossed her legs when seated on the couch, pulling a blanket over them self consciously. He entered, sucking all the peace from the room as she sat nervously pushing the rice around, suddenly not so famished. The apartment was small, leaving few many options for comfortable seating of many, and so he settled next to her on the couch, pushing the blanket underneath her toes so he wouldn't chill her. And yet her face still flamed. The silence between them was palpable, the scrape of the fork on her plate the only noise as he stared into the air straight ahead.

"I'm sorry, Bella. I shouldn't have let Rosalie speak that way; I should have spoken up. I should have stopped you and..." His voice trailed off, hands clasped angrily on one another before reaching back and running his hands through his thick hair.

"I don't want to pull you from your family." Her voice was small and wavered with emotion.

"You won't. Rosalie just gets momma-bear sometimes. She'll get over it. I guess I shouldn't have let it come so far, without you feeling comfortable with... all this. I don't want to scare you, I don't want to lose you, but I can't put you in danger. But I can't leave you alone."

"So that leaves us... where, exactly?" Bella was acutely aware that this was, in essence, the most uncomfortable conversation she had ever had with anyone, especially a man. Weren't these the conversations that drove men away screaming? Edward looked uncomfortable as it were, and here she is putting up a wall. She shook her head slightly, realizing that she perhaps didn't have enough walls between them. Had she admitted too much? Had he? They had come too far, perhaps, and now she was left wondering how you could back track your life. When you didn't want to. But your life may depend on it.

"Where do you want us to be? You know where I stand, Bella. I just can't... progress if you feel some other way. If you feel any other way is possible, say it. Out loud. Say it."

His voice was low and tempting, and sent shivers down her spine. She was so nervous she wanted to throw up, profusely and violently, but she knew in her heart the decision was made. It wasn't even a choice anymore. It was as simple as gravity, as dangerous as a heart attack, and as complicated as quantum physics. She wanted to be with him. She had to be with him.

"There's no other way. You're it." Her voice wavered as he stood, letting out a great sigh and small smile, turning his head up to the sky. She stood as well, moving toward him without delay. This was that gravitational pull she couldn't deny, and she bit her lip in anticipation. His golden eyes turned to her, and his body followed slowly. He watched her lips and licked his own, and sooner than she thought possible, their lips were on one another's. His mouth was cool and stony, but mobile and graceful and insistent. She wrapped her arms around his neck while he stood like a statue, gorgeous and unbelievable. Furiously grabbing at him, she pushed her body into his as he finally wrapped his arms around her back and held her gently. It was as if time stood still. Their mouths parted, and his candy sweet taste overwhelmed her. His tongue was marzipan perfect in her mouth, and despite his cool touch, her body was blazing until there was nothing left but a smudge of ashes to mark her spot.

As she had done in the hallway, Bella lifted one leg on one side of his hip, shocked at her own brazen desire. She didn't care the cost, she had to be closer to him. Her nightgown was thin and rucked up and she flamed against his icy body. Vaguely, her mind registered a vibration in his pocket underneath her thigh, but he was hard and wanting and her head was overwhelmed with it. He gently nudged her leg down, still kissing her as he reached into his pocket. His lips left hers, and she gasped with need for air. He overtook her body's most basic needs with the desire for him. He growled at the phone, but answered anyway.

"What, Alice?" Bella filled in the blanks imaginatively, but was left wanting the other side of the conversation.

"I am being careful. I'm always careful."

"Fine. I know it clouds my judgement. I know. I will, I promise. I can control myself around her... okay, you are right, but I will try." He winked at her and roved her body, her hair wild and breath still coming rapidly.

"Okay, I promise. Seriously. Okay, you believe me now? I'll make her put on more clothes. Shut up, I will. Okay. Love you too. Bye."

He grinned that half smirk, had she was already moving to the bedroom, pulling a pair of yoga pants underneath the nightgown, feeling the heat finally leave her cheeks. The space had calmed the electric spark between them, and she raised her eyes to his and lifted an eyebrow.

"You're too distracting, Bella. But I love it. Just need a little reminder sometimes to keep my head on straight."

"Are you leaving?" She hated to ask it, in case the answer was yes. His face turned down, shadows casting on the perfect angles.

"If you want me to."

"And if I don't?"

"I'll stay." Her heart skipped a beat, understanding that physically, tonight, they could get no closer. But he was staying.

She tilted her head back to the living room, sitting down on the couch as he situated himself on the other end, his arm extended out towards her. She flipped on the TV, as PBS had a Masterpiece Theatre program she never missed. It was Dickens, not her favorite, but one she couldn't miss anyway. He smiled at her, and they settled comfortably into the couch. Their conversation was minimal, analyzing Bleak House and she was in awe again of his mind. It was heavenly, the dichotomy of brain and beauty that he possessed.

When the program was over, she moved to the bed, settling under the quilt as he sat above it, leaned back with a book from her shelf. His scent was calming, and soon her heartbeat regulated at seeing him in her bed as she had so often imagined. She drifted to sleep watching his eyes move over the pages of the novel, content and blissful. Edward was here, and he had stayed.

-

A/N

I wrote that final part on my new house's porch in a summer rainstorm listening to Billie Holiday and smelling wild mint and rain. Life is good. Please review, it'll make life all the sweeter! :)


	11. Chapter 11

**I am so thoroughly embarrassed for taking so long. I owe you. Take a few seconds to back-track if you need to... I won't begrudge you that. Just give this little story some time, it's always in my mind. Even if I am the slowest ever. I'm estimating 3 more chapters until completion. The action's a-coming.**

They said their goodbyes in the morning, him promising a phone call soon. Her heart fluttered as he dipped his head to hers and softly pressing his lips to hers before ducking out the door. Bella showered and got ready for the day, feeling full and empty all at once. She had never slept so peacefully. Edward was next to her, even in the most innocent of ways, and she was blessed that life had smiled on her. His departure left her bereft, missing his cool breath but she tried to push the clouds away. Her soft violet sweater, khakis, and crocheted boots snuggled her into the day, beckoning warmth and comfort. The bus pulled up to school, and she smiled at the driver before exiting. The sky was lightening, and students yawned into the cold air. December peeked from around the corner and gingerbread lattes at Starbucks were already scenting her dreams.

The office was not as relaxing as her quiet musing on life. Lola was gesturing wildly on the phone, panicking. Bella sat at her small desk, flipped her laptop open, and started on emails while she tried to get a handle on Lola's life issues. _Deployment. Iraq. Italy. Anywhere._ It was enough to fill in the gaps. Andrew, her fiance, was in the Navy, and that came with certain responsibilities. Lola had known that, but it was always hard. Bella bit her lip and waited patiently for her to get off the phone and explain what was going on now. She had been planning the most romantic, extravagant wedding she and her single mother could afford, and her red splotched face didn't bode well for whatever was happening. Lola was a year ahead of Bella in her PhD, set to defend and nearly done with her dissertation and everything neat and tucked into place for after the wedding. She wanted to write and would supplement her life by teaching on base with Andrew, wherever life and naval obligations took him. It was foreign to Bella, that someone would know how their life would be, and accept the uncertainty with it.

All she had known was familiarity. Her only wild streak had come by spending the year in England, and she was hardly planning her life. Perhaps she was just stalling. She got the masters, she knew she didn't feel ready for the big bad world. So she went for her PhD. It wasn't as though she was scared, per se, she just... didn't know where to go, what to do. Her life was in Seattle, even if it meant going out once a month, and staying in alone watching Masterpiece Theatre and rereading novels. Did she want to teach college level? Community college? High school? Write? Read? Edit? Her heart knew that, ideally, she would read and write and edit. The things that didn't sustain you financially - unless, that is, you happened upon a Dan Brown sort of phenomenon that made Bella gag at the thought. She had some half started novels written, ideas floating unconnected in her mind. What to do with them, she wouldn't know. Did she even have it in her? Somehow, she thought she'd end up settling into a life rather ordinary. It was disconcerting.

"Shit shit shit SHIT!" The redhead from across the office broke Bella from her selfish pondering, and focused at the task at hand.

"What's up, babe?"

"Andrew is getting transferred to Italy. In a week and a half. I think the wedding grandeur has to end, and we're getting hitched this weekend. You ready to don something like a bridesmaid's dress?"

"You betcha... I guess a honeymoon in Italy sounds pretty grand." Bella bit back her hesitance, the ache smarting in her belly at the idea of losing a friend to the wild world abroad.

"It sucks, sweet pea. It sucks. But you'll be smashing next to me, you can bring that new man if he's worthy. And I'll get married and we'll be happy." Bella stood and hugged her friend, swinging her around and squeezing her tight. They brainstormed the immediate guest list, the made the plan for the Justice of the Peace ceremony, and the restaurant for the party afterwards. Quick, intimate, and fun. Lola had her dress, and Bella was prepared to bridesmaid shop as the planned dress would not come through in time. As Lola hustled and bustled about the wedding, Bella pulled out her phone when she felt it vibrate with a text message.

_Alice has a box at your house for a wedding. She's overwhelming. - E._

Bella laughed and blushed at the same time. Alice was indeed the most overwhelming, but giving and loving person she had met. She reminded Bella quite fondly of Gemma, her English sister-at-heart, though much more psychic and much more vampiric. Those traits seemed to make any other comparison quite shallow, and yet, Bella couldn't help herself. She replied back to Edward, asking him over to watch a movie, anxious to get another gloriously restful night's sleep next to him. And some makeout time in. Definitely ignoring his... vampireness. Oh, God, what an idiot.

And so it was. Lola would be getting married in a few days, would be off to Italy in a few weeks, and would come back to defend when she was done. Their day flew by, grading papers and thinking about wedding details and making Bella's head spin.

Her head was in a fog as she walked to the bus stop. How things were changing, and how she was blissfully ignoring what was happening to her. The letters on her stoop, the man in her life, the expanse of time known as "the future" she didn't know how to fill. The bus ride was short, empty faces and blank expressions leaving her filled with sadness. What a change from her happy morning. All these thoughts, all these feelings, and all Bella wanted to do was forget them entirely. What she saw at the bottom of her stairwell did cheer her up quite a bit.

Edward.

Tall, long limbed, leather jacketed, ripped jeans. Quite unlike a man from the early 1900s and quite like the hottest thing she'd ever seen in the 21st century. His eyes were dark, his figure so still she would have figured him for a wax statue of the Sexiest Man on Earth. Her mind went blissfully blank.

"Edward, you're early." Her voice teased, not angry at all.

"Bella... I found something on your doorstop."

His eyes were dark and dangerous, in his hands an envelope with red wax on the outside. Her heart raced. Her mouth went dry. He knew.

"It's not what you think - I'm sure it's one of the copycats. You know they've found lots of these copycat letters around town, at least ten women have come forward. Really. Edward, it's no big deal, I mean, who would want to kill me? Really? Me? Who am I? I'm no one, no one at all, no one special." Her voice waivered, her insecurities bubbling up

"Perhaps quite the opposite," his eyes dark as they moved over her body, "if only you'd believe that. Let's get you inside." She turned her eyes down, up the stairwell with the tall dark and handsome behind her. The box on her doorstep was huge, making her crack a grin at Alice's overwhelming antics. Bella's ears turned a shade of crimson as Edward moved to pick up the box, closing in above her and breathing his sweet, minty breath down her face. It was impossible to think clearly when all she wanted was to press him to the door and hump his leg.

His lips descended onto her forehead, brushing back and forth, soft and cold as they sent shivers down her body. He took the keys from her hand and unlocked the door, and it was all she could do to muster up the brain power to back slowly through the door. Edward drifted his fingertips over her face, slowly and gently, almost reverently. Bella's lips fell open, and his mouth hovered over hers taking her exhalations and making them his own. They stood in the doorway in a way that would have made Bella gag if she weren't knees deep in this attraction, bound and pulled toward him in a way thrilling and deadly.

"Okay, shall we see what Alice has sent you?" His voice broke the spell and Bella's hands shook as she scooped the box up and moved to her bedroom, gulping air greedily. The box was large, and the ribbon was easily untied with the lid lifted off.

"Oh Edward, it's really perfect!" He was behind her, smirking against the doorway, watching her with eager eyes. The dress was a muted royal purple, plunging v with an empire waist and knee length chiffon. Perfectly elegant, simple, and ready to watch her friend put a ring on her man. Underneath the dress, Alice had packed a pair of champagne peep-toed stilettos, their red soles glinting obviously in the low light of her cheap rent apartment.

"I can't possibly accept this Edward. I really can't." It was said sadly, accepting that as perfect as the outfit was, it was going back in the box.

"You'll break her heart if you give it back; you should really take it." He was behind her, closer, impossibly close. Bella tilted back, his whole body against hers. His hands wrapped around her, dangling two long earrings made of champagne pearls.

"These are from me. On loan of course, in lieu of flowers or a corsage or whatever people are doing now. Since I think I am going to be your date after all."

"Only if you want to come... but I would be most obliged."

He spun her around, lips descending, and her dress so perfectly chosen by Alice was tossed gently on the cream chair in the corner. Bella's leg locked around his own as he laid her down on the bed in front of them, dress box thudding loudly on the floor. Their tongues met and she was lightheaded at the slightest touch. He was careful, always so careful, but when he shifted slightly, Bella rolled completely so that she was on top of him. Finally, the power was all hers. Her hips shifted as though it weren't dangerous, her arms squeezing his shoulders roughly as her teeth scraped his lip. As if someone so strong could be impacted by something so small. And still, his head shifted, glorious jaw ready for the taking, and she was finally selfish. Her tongue met his smooth skin, missing the human stubble but not nearly enough to make it any less of a fantasy come true.

He lifted her off of him quite suddenly, moving as a blur to her human eyes, to the doorway again. His voice was rough as he spoke.

"I need to fill your hole."

"Um... what?" Her inner monologue ran much dirtier - _I'd say it's time for a "that's what she said."_

"I put a hole in your drywall just now. I'll need to patch it."

He was out the door, and Bella watched out the window as he sped off on his motorbike and she finally cleared enough to see the fist sized dent in between the whitewash rails of her headboard. Whoops.

Edward worked on the drywall while Bella made dinner, silent in his way. She ate dinner alone at the table, staring out into the Seattle night. He walked across the kitchen, hands over the sink, before he moved to wash the putty off of them.

"I shouldn't have done that."

"What, Edward? Punch the hole or kiss me?"

"I'm lucky I punched a hole in something replaceable and not something priceless - you." His self loathing was all across his face, angry and defeated and really and truly heart breaking.

"You have got to stop hating yourself for it! How is this going to work if all we ever do is regret spending time together, Edward."

"I could never regret it, I just wish things were simpler. Wish we were equals, or at least innocently holding hands instead of moving on your bed making me want things I haven't wanted or had to worry about."

Bella shook her head in disbelief. "You wish we didn't make out? Wish I didn't want to have sex with you as soon as decently possible? I'm sorry for having a sex drive and normal wants, buddy, but that's the way it is." Her face blushed but she meant it. She was old enough to want this, need this, and it wasn't ridiculous.

"I know, I know, I know... I just don't know what to do."

"...You've never?" Her jaw dropped a bit, unsure of how to proceed. He was old - literally, old enough to have been there, done that so many times.

His head ducked, obviously embarrassed. "I have, no, I have. It was a long time ago and it was with a very different woman. It's strange, how cavalier sex seems now."

"Well, Edward, let's have this uncomfortable conversation now, I guess. I've had sex more than that. I'm not going to apologize for not being a virgin for you. I'm a grown woman, and at least now we don't marry as 15 year olds. I lost it as a 16 year old to my high school boyfriend. Then dated a guy seriously in college for 2 years. And I've scratched the itch a time or two."

"I'm not upset at you, Bella, I just don't... I don't know how to do that. To sleep with someone I don't love. To go there again. Vampires are very attached creatures, the routine and companionship gets to us. I've never felt so blissfully in my own head with you - I'm not constantly barraged by your thoughts. I can relax and think and you draw me in even still, and for the first time in my life I wish I knew what you were thinking."

"Right now? I don't really want to let you in on it. I'm feeling a little judged and pissed, frankly."

"Darling Bella. I'm not thinking you are some scarlet woman... not at all. I know modern practices are different. You've had sex. More than I have. For once, you have the advantage here. Not that I am sure that's possible to even accomplish."

"We can't sleep together? I can't just put a leather strap between your teeth and hop on?"

"If I could blush now... I would be. Jasper says it's possible, he lived for such a while with humans. But he killled them later. He didn't _care_ like I care. I just don't know if I can risk it."

"This is like the best thing ever for a sex ed teacher. Sex could literally kill."

The conversation ended there, trying not to be any more awkward than possible. Soon enough they were joking about Bella's total lack of closet organization, Edward's freakishly long toes, and putting on a John Hughes movie. Edward knew the character's lines flawlessly, saying something about his photographic memory, but Bella guessed he had just seen them so many times. Who hadn't seen the Breakfast Club a hundred times? Bedtime was a modest affair, Bella's feelings still chuffed from his potential judgement. She wished she could see in his mind to know his real thoughts. She didn't regret her past sexual encounters, but wondered if he regretted them for her. Kisses stayed chaste, but as she turned away from him to sleep, he settled in behind her. He pulled himself to her, cool body pressed top to toe behind her with his sweet minty breath sliding over her neck raising goosebumps.

"Sorry, are you cold?" His voice was a whisper, almost inaudible, and she pulled the covers tighter and shook her head. "I'm sorry, darling, if I made you feel poorly. You are perfect, everything about you suits me. It's just so frustrating and I haven't ever felt lacking or unsure about anything before ever. Not in the life that I can recall."

She turned around, keeping their full body contact, and wrapped her arms around him. "I know you are. I just wonder what our lives would have been had we met in high school or something, what life would be like then."

"Probably very melodramatic," he answered wryly.

"I can't help wanting you, Edward. But I understand your motives and issues here. We'll just slow it down. You decide when things escalate."

"I'd like to escalate things right now, Bella. I just wanted to tell you, that here in your arms, I know something for certain."

"And that certain something is...?"

"That I am in love with you."

Her eyes dilated, already wide in the night, and her breath came short. L. Lo. Lov. Love.

"Please don't reciprocate. I mean it. Keep the words and if you feel them sometime, please let me know, but I'd like you to know that I really do. It's certain. As right as anything I have ever known." Her mouth was on him, sweet and gentle, and her head tucked under his chin, heart swollen and scared and hopeful. This was the future she was looking for. She was fast asleep in moments.

The news was clear in the morning as Bella turned the TV on, making tea, as Edward insisted on making the bed. Another girl murdered. Another life destroyed.

Perhaps now was the time for these tough questions she did not want to ask because she feared the answers.


End file.
